How many times you have closed your eyes and wished deep inside  that someone could just change? and how many times you thought you really “could do it” and change them? was it a behavior that you didn’t like, was it a wishful thought to make your relationship become better. Whatever the reason was, we all did it, and more likely we will all keep doing it… Trying to Change others… 

The Miracle of Believing is Individual, is Singular, I wish I could believe for all of you, but the fact remains that you need to believe for yourself.

~Jim Rohn

In my upcoming Book, “Living an Influential Life”, I go over the power of Influence and how you can inspire and aspire others to change by simply working on yourself and building specific aspects of YOU that will make others look up to you.

Let’s pause for a second and think of the following… If you have been doing something in a specific way, and it was working for you… Would you want to look for ways to enhance it? chances are that you won’t… However when that specific way lead to a disaster, then you would be forced to change… But there are those times, when you are not really looking for way to enhance and change things, and suddenly, you see someone else doing it in a much efficient way, that you feel inspired to change!

During my line of work, I used to travel a LOT… and I have used to ask the cabin crew for requests in a very polite manner but really had no specific way on how to do so; Until one day, one of my Best friends, Bachar D.  who was more experienced in traveling than I was, gave me a great tip… We were siting in a restaurant and he asked for a napkin from the waiter, he said to him: “Excuse me, <First Name – that he could read from the nameTag>, when you have time, can you please get me a napkin.” and the waiter smiled at him, and despite how busy he was, he did prioritize getting the napkin for him in no time…

Now of course it may sound silly for you, but when Bachar explained this to me, he said that the fact that he mentioned ” WHEN YOU HAVE TIME” in the sentence, it made a huge difference in the structure of the sentence and the other person felt more respected, and of course this was a trick that he learned in the airline business…. and Ever since, I tried it and used it over and over and over and it works every time…

He really didn’t ask me to change… He didn’t say that my “can I have a napkin please” is horrible… he really didn’t say anything… he was just being him, and doing things his way… and Just that… Inspired me to make a small change in my behavior.

So the tip for this week, is Instead of trying so hard to Change people, Be The Change you want to see… and inspire others to change because of you!

This post is dedicated to Bachar Dib

Enjoy your Week!

SC

Samer Chidiac is a Sr. Strategist, Author & an International Innovation Expert.

The Monday Tip Weekly blog is part of the “Influencing the Life of Others” project