Choose your better end of the story

A dear friend of mine once told me his story; He was engaged in a very serious relationship with somebody, for several years they were together. And then, one day, out of the blue, their relationship ended; his fiancé messaged and told him that they cannot stay together anymore because of multiple issues and reasons. Her reasons to breakup were valid, but the way to end a relationship that was serious simply over a text message left more questions than answers.

At that night, each one of them was in a different country; obviously my friend got very depressed. And what made things even worse is that later on, and after a couple of days, he realized that his (now) ex-fiancé started going out with someone else in that country that she was visiting.

His mind got blown away, because he immediately started thinking about that news, that she may have been in that relationship while they were still together. After several months from that story, they talked to that and she told/assured him that the person she is currently dating was already friend at that time, and everything happened. immediately after they broke up. So, they didn’t go out, or were in a relationship at the time when she and my friend were together.

For the life of him, he didn’t know the real story, he has only speculation and assumptions. He wouldn’t know if that was the truth she told him, or it was something else. This experience destroyed my friend for a period of time; From one angle, he lost the love of his life and from another he felt betrayed and that his life was fake for a while.

When we were talking together after that incident, I told him the following:

If by any chance, either versions of the stories:

  1. That your fiancé was dedicated to you, and she met the person after you two broke up. Or,
  2. your fiancé was cheating on you while you were together, and she ended the relationship to be with the other person.

And both versions lead to the same conclusion:

You are not together anymore.

She is the other person.

You’re devastated.

She is happy and either versions won’t change this fact.

So why don’t you pick the version that suits you better and be confident that this is what happened: She was in a dedicated relationship with you, things didn’t work out and each went in separate ways and she met someone else afterwards, and you have good memories to cherish and it’s time for you to move on…

End of the story.”

The only difference between those two versions of the story is that when we know the history of a specific fact, it changes the way we act upon it, it changes the way we react and we continue to; it changes EVERYTHING!

There are many stories that you can look up on the internet and hear about a similar incident that my friend had; most of relationships that ends have this mystery layer right on top of the most and you cannot have a complete visibility inside the mind of your partner because simply you cannot control every single aspect of most of your life and certainly not the life of another person; so the breakup reasons could build over years or it could happen suddenly… No one really knows.

But some sometimes you can choose to ignore the signals that is happening in your relationships, the signals that may lead to betrayal, adultery, or just pain and sorrow. Once you realize that you were ignoring the signals, eventually you’ll understand that you could have ended that relationship before things became more complicated.

Our tip for this week is learning from the experience of my friend and is about choosing the best way based on your own benefits.  

When both stories, both hypotheses lead to the same conclusion then choose the one that is better suited for you and not the opposite.

Not every breakup have the luxury of having an appropriate “closure” and mot leave more questions than answers and more often 2 versions of the same story told by both parties.

So, in our life, when we are faced with these types of situations where mystery hovers on top. We can always look at it from the aspect of what’s best for me?  

Which version of the story is best for me? Should I keep the other dramatic version and suffer for knowing such details, or tune in for the better version, knowing that in either case the ending in the same?

I would choose the better version for me!

Have a wonderful week,


Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Never lose track of yourself

One day you wake up, and look at the mirror and see a person you don’t know, a person that looks a lot like you, has your features, but strangely you don’t recognize that person. Because deep inside of yourself, you realize that this is not YOU… and if it was indeed you, you fail to acknowledge how did you end up here. When did you lose track?

I was having a coaching session with a fantastic individual recently, and she was describing how her life lead her to a crossroads, where either direction would lead to a path that she doesn’t fantasy; she stopped at that particular point and is thinking hard on that potential destination, and that difficult decision that would lead her nowhere. The most interesting part about that conversation is that she has been at that point in her life, by the time of our session for more than four years.   

You would be surprised to know that Ms. X was not the only individual facing such a situation and that our session brought several flashbacks from others who were at her exact place without notice, whether in a work/professional or personal context; You may call it “Stuck” or a “Dead end” or whatever synonym  that would resonate more to you, what I would like to share with you in this article, is my point of view on this.

What I told Ms. X, after a long and warm talk that transported her to a time where she felt the complete opposite and where destinations were clearer, and decisions were more natural:   

“You Have lost track but not of where you are going, but instead, you have lost track of yourself. You lost yourself somewhere, at some point in time. Now you are allowing someone else to take over your decisions, a different person that looks like you, sounds like you, but deep inside, that isn’t YOU.”

I wish I can tell you that there is an easy solution for anyone in this situation; there isn’t. But there is a clear answer to that question, and the answer is always YOU.

At some point in our life, the sum of all of our experiences shapes who we are and who we have become; in one of my research, I emphasized on the different points that shape our individualities which I call them S.P.I.C.E.D that stands for S: Story, P: Personality, I: Interests, C: Culture, E: Education and D for Diversity; so when you look at all of these elements combined, you would feel there is someone underneath all of that… and simply, that Someone is YOU!

If you have limited battery life on your phone and you are let’s say traveling with no access to a near charger for at least 3 hours, your decisions on how you would use your phone will become more strategic; Pretty much when you realize the value of your time, your actions and decisions will start making more sense, and you won’t be able to understand and appreciate the value of your time if you can’t value your Self.

Our Tip for this week is never losing track of who you are because when you do, an alternative ego or a ghost-version of you will take over and will start taking control of everything.

And just like the Phone Battery, realize that you have a finite time and energy, so make sure you appreciate that as a gift.

Have a wonderful week,


Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Get rid of the things holding you down!

Have you ever woke up one day with that strange feeling that you don’t want to get out of bed? That going to work feels like going to a slaughter house and you’re the cow? have you ever felt that even on your vacation days, you don’t feel like having fun? How many times have this occurred to you? if more than once in the past month… Then you must be Burned Out!

In so many occasions, we don’t feel the weight that we are carrying, because it’s been there too long that we no longer feel that it’s a parasite that is feeding on us, but more regular and natural that we don’t notice it anymore.

You can’t fix something that you don’t know about, and you can’t solve a problem when you can’t acknowledge that there is one in the first place. In one of my talks, I specified problems in 2 categories:

  • Real Problems: which are related to the health & well-being of your self and your loved ones.
  • The Other Types of Problems: Everything else…

However once you go beyond the above 2 categories, most people actually have dozens and even tons of problems that they categorize into so many sub ones… from financials, to social to personal and the list goes on.

While you are reading this, I will ask you a question, and I would like you to think about it very thoroughly for few minutes:

Think of the biggest heavy issue that you are having right now That is – and I insist – not related to the health and well being of your self and your loved ones… Think Loudly in your mind, describe it and scream at it if you should...

Now, since this problem is pissing you off, and making you sleepless at night… What would it take you to to solve it? a Miracle?

Put a small Pause on that thought and keep reading.

I once asked a group of individuals in a workshop I was conducting few years back, about some of the toughest problems they are facing in their lives/work etc… and then stimulated their minds by the following statements:

  • If you had 100$ would that help you to solve your issue?
  • If you had 10,000$ would that help you to solve your issue?
  • If you had 1,000,000$ would that help you to solve your issue?
  • If you have 150,000,000$ would that help you to solve your issue?

I guess you are seeing where I am going there. And the answers varied from “Probably” to “Hell YEAH”!!

So, that extremely difficult problem, started becoming easier and easier, when you started seeing possibilities to solving it.

Which lead me to this week’s Tip: Get Rid of the things holding you down!

In a lot of times, we get burned out, because of the weight of the problems and issues that we have, and mostly because of the “in-existing” solutions based on our current reality.

We can’t solve any issue by just complaining about it, and we REALLY can’t solve any issue when we are carrying the load of all of our life and making it the central component that will make us happy and fulfilled.

If you look back at the problem that you thought of in the beginning of this article, and tried to visualize the indirect things that are holding you down, and put them aside for a moment, and just write down your issue and what type of a “Miracle” you need to solve it, and use the exact line of thoughts, like money, support from others, etc… And then go back and try to split them into micro-steps… Just like brushing your teeth, it’s just a task that you do, but when you think about it as solving an greater issue of your health and life instead, you would take more easy.

Whatever type of your problems and issues that you are having now (that is not health and well-being related), try to approach it differently and isolate it from being the central part of your life, and then take micro-steps towards it, and with time, it will stop being that monstrances.

And the Heavy weight, holding you back, that you have in your life, is very similar to the photo I chose for this article, Think of yourself holding that much weight, and you need to even brush your teeth… it’s an Incredibly Complicated task isn’t it?

Have a wonderful week,

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

It could happen to you too

Opinions are a matter of personal tastes; You can always have an opinion about whatever you want. You can talk about the universe, the earth, about relationships, business and you can also think about whatever you want and express your opinion in so many ways, but actually understanding and changing an opinion takes more than just courage, it takes a deeper and more progressive way of thinking.

A lot of people among a research that I’ve done for the past 12 years (and still ongoing) on how people innovate and change. It can be as simple as the following: You are not satisfied with the current situation you seek change.

You try to analyze the current status quo and you don’t like things the way they are; You may want them to be better, faster, different. A lot of skills are very important in the coming era such as complex problem solving and more. However, it goes back fundamentally to small things: How you can change your opinion about a simple fact; You could be having an opinion about a specific type of food or drink being good or bad, healthy or not, and that is the simplest; You can eat whatever you want, just like everybody else who have specific preferences around food.

But the issue about opinions, is what could contribute to changing your mind about someone, something or an activity.

This week’s tip is another followup on a previous post about how to see things from other person’s perspective.

Let’s try to visualize the following situation as if you are in the middle of a scenario where a specific situation could have happened to you (Just because if you put a scenario in your head doesn’t mean that it will happen to you or it may happen to you but it’s a thought provoking exercise):

You start by imagining this specific scenario in your head, where you are in the position of the person who’s doing something that you don’t necessarily like. What would happen if you’ve been in the same situation as that person? He or she could be from another religion, another faith and/or maybe with different political affiliation and so on.

If you look at what he or she is doing from your own perspective, very likely you’re not going to change but when you switch to their perspective, and their way of thinking, you might think that “yes – if I were in their place, maybe I would’ve done/thought the same.”

If you were born with a particular family within a particular social structure etc, more likely you would like what they are doing and would be convinced about that, you (may) would be convinced that this is the right way of doing specific things, and so on. Right?

For example: Let’s say you are in born in China, there are a lot of food in that part of the world that other countries don’t necessarily eat (Roasted Insects? snakes… etc), however you may wonder why wouldn’t the rest of the world be eating these and instead they would prefer to starve or eat a different type of food. You can see that Your Normal now is different that your Normal if you were born and lived in the Middle East.

When I looked at researches related to Alternative source of food, despite that I don’t necessarily like it, I found that insects are a great source of protein and it could solve a great deal of food problems in the future, however would you still do it? now if you had no other choice? can you see the different perspective now.

It could happen to you to just try to look for another perspective, try to change your opinion, train yourself to change your opinion if there is a strong evidence at least, if not and you cannot change that, train your mind to respect the others’ opinion.

Because if you were in their place, you may very likely would have done very close, or similar to what they have done, or thought.

Have a nice week.

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Moving on past the obstacles and seeing the bigger picture

One of the most common, I would not call it mistake, but one of the most common downfall of problem solving, is being stuck. And the ONE element, which is the immediate influencer is the following: Rather than thinking strategically about the solution of the problem, you get stuck into details. You see, if I am to put a plan that would take me from point A to point B. And I want to look holistically, about how would I go from point A to point B.  I can think about a lot of things. However, if I go into details right from the beginning, (like what will I be driving? which means of communication, etc etc ?) I will be stuck trying to solve all of the issues in just one part and before actually understanding where to go next; and that is a very common practice.

If you want to literally solve a problem, If you want to achieve a goal and if you want to succeed in doing something really, really big and important for you, one of the most important factor that will help you tremendously would be the ability to see it the solution all the way through. Yes, all the way through. You need to really know where you are going, if you want to reach there.

Needless to say that the bumps on your way, these obstacles will there to deal with, just not at the beginning. I’ll give you one of the complicated examples that we are facing right now, where a new version of technologies and a new method of transportation given the evolution of all of those industrial revolutions. And what’s going to happen next and how we should act and react.

A lot of people would start thinking about what will happen immediately to their existing tasks and work, and what would happen afterwards, then, once this change will happen… Now what?

But if you look at it from a strategic point of view, let’s say you want to do a trip and adventure, and you take an example that, what if there was a very very high speed transportation mechanism that will take you from point A to point B – an exceptionally high speed, which would make whatever used to take you an hour and a half, three hours, five hours, will now, takes you just 20 minutes.

Now, despite that there are a lot of methods, right now, that are claiming that they will reach to that phenomenal breakthrough in innovation, so far it’s not the case. But if that was true! What would you do if right now? you could actually be saving hours doing something and doing it in just a few minutes… What would happen to your life then?

This exercise, once you start doing it, will give you the solution to other problems you’re not looking at because you are busy worrying about the details of the first piece of the puzzle. You may think that you have a problem with funding – that I cannot do it right now because of you don’t have enough funding to solve this issue. But once you do the exercise you may realize some benefits that would tackle that subject from multiple other aspects, and eventually leading you to finding other solutions that would – maybe – transform the way you think about your current problem.

And that’s how important, thinking holistically, painting the path and paving the way to where you want to go IS!

Therefor and before you go to get stuck trying to solving the small issues try this week’s tip:

I advise you, Whatever your dreams, goals, thoughts are try to paint a bigger picture first, assume hypothetically, that whatever problems you have right now are done.  If your problem is related to money, then assume you have more. If your problem is related to have the right tools, infrastructure? venue? Just assume that you have that already, you solve that problem already, then explore where this would lead you.

Eventually, you will reach to a point that you didn’t think of before, in your train of thoughts and you may discover that this was indeed your winning formula.

Have a wonderful week.

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

When things are OK, everyone is OK!

For some reason when things go well in any project or idea or task or behavior and when everything is just great, most would stop looking at the details; This one relationship is meant to be when you meet that right person, even if you met him or her at the most awkward of situations, but as long as the end result is good, somehow people are okay with whatever happened before that while if things didn’t go well, then people will start questioning all sorts of errors and start talking about why would you allow yourself to be in that situation in the first place!

This is key, you may have met the right person during all the wonderful circumstances being at the right time the right place with the right introductions… Everything went smoothly afterwards, you introduced him or her to your friends, family and started going out, etc. and days and months and even years went fantastically only it ended afterwards but also on a positive note. It just didn’t work out and no one was hurt. and Life goes on!

In that particular case, people may look at it and say sentences like: Oh, well, it’s OK.

In contrast, If you go out with somebody, and then things doesn’t go as they way they should, then for some reason Everyone (yourself included) would start questioning your ability to pick the right person, and you may start hearing about how you don’t know or you don’t understand women or men or how you don’t understand how to go out or how you don’t you didn’t give enough time… You didn’t do thisYou didn’t do that... It seems that everybody would become experts in finding some sort of a fault in your sky.

Nevertheless, very few would look at it from your perspective and try to see how this could have worked properly. Let’s say two persons met while both of were drunk at a party and ended up sleeping together on the first night and later on, fell in love and made a wonderful family and kids, etc. Would that make the first meeting an optimal one ? despite how this would have gone horribly wrong, yet it didn’t.

So why is everybody suddenly more forgiving and understanding with that scenario but not so much when the end results were not fine? from my experience, and from let’s say, practically all of the rich and famous people, most of them experienced a very rough childhood with very bad experiences during their early beginnings. Yes, person A got raped when she was young and she became a fantastic and most successful TV host, The other person B had to borrow money to eat and then became the richest and the other person C slept in his garage without taking showers for a month and stories would keep flowing… You would have endless horrible and miserable beginnings for very famous people. So why this doesn’t actually means that all the others who have had similar beginnings but somehow didn’t end up rich and famous are worthy of our attention? does that make things okay?

This week’s Tip is about exactly that: When things are okay. People are okay. When things go wrong. People start questioning the okay. The right thing is always right and the wrong thing is always wrong. Whether you admit this or not, the right way of meeting people, of doing business, of starting is always right. The wrong way, however, is also wrong, No matter if it led to a happy ending or not. You have to admit that if something will lead to a wonderful ending, let’s say a mistake happened and you manage to come up with a very brilliant idea, that doesn’t make the mistake anything else than what it already is, you need to admit that this may have been the best mistake ever, but still call it a mistake and if something went right and ended wrong, you need to still acknowledge that it was right instead of focusing on the end result and saying this is wrong.

Whether in business, relationships, or practically anything else, you may need to try un-orthodox manners to reach your goals, nevertheless, trying to put a filter won’t help in validating your means, cause in order to fix your tooth, the dentist may have to make you suffer a lot of pain in order to save you from a lot afterwards, that doesn’t make it feel like a pleasant experience.

Have a nice week.

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

The Value of YOUr Work

The story I’ve heard a while back about the famous Pablo Picasso who was sitting at a cafe somewhere when a woman passed by and saw him and asked him to draw her.

He took a pencil, sketched her and gave her the result; she looked at it, it was a nice sketch,  and then he asked for 5,000 Franc, she looked back in shock, “This only took you five minutes to draw!”, she was surprised because of the amount that he asked for.

Then Pablo Picasso looked at her and smiled. He said, No, it didn’t take me five minutes. It took me ALL of my life.

This story have a lot of meanings, and a lot of learning; as for most of people, they just look at your end results and judge you based on that. While sometimes things can be – let’s say – more simple to comprehend, and some other times, the result is much more complex to understand. Just like when you look at a TV commercial or a logo or design, it may look super complicated to be done and other times it is very simple that it can give the impression that anybody can come up with the same.

When we look at a result that looks very simple, we often take it for granted that it didn’t take much time to finish nor much effort to create; Such an impression is not always necessarily true; The team who worked on it could have taken way more time to come up with such a brilliant idea that could be executed in a short period of time, or as a simple execution, it could have taken years and years of study, years of preparations so you can see such a simple outcome.

Needless to mention, it’s very difficult for some people to comprehend the process and why you can come up with a solution to a problem very easily that it would seem that you didn’t give it enough thought. While in reality, it could be your huge experience that led you to come up with that conclusion with just the short time. I saw a meme online once that say a designer can create something fantastic in 30 minutes however that designer have studied and trained for 10 years to be able to do it in 10 or 30 minutes.

This is a very common misconception in terms of analyzing the efforts which unfortunately, leave people trying to complicate things just to give it more value.

I was  reading and listening to motivational talks from the old times, especially from Zig Ziglar, (one of the most important motivational speakers in my life, I have only few of them and they helped me a lot during a lot negative times in my life) and what he was saying that: If right now, you lose your small finger, in order for doctors to reconstruct your small finger the same way as it was, which is a fairly complicated process, it would require hundreds of thousands of dollars to be able to do so Reconstructing something that you already have and an immense amount of effort, a very delicate procedure.

Those organs (or items) that you already have, you sometimes take them for granted, because you didn’t do anything to get them, they were just there when you were born. So for this week it’s about the value of YOUrselves, the value of your work, the value of YOU valuing your work and self properly and people will then start doing so; and if they don’t, then it’s their problem and you need to simply move on and not waste more time.

Let’s take for example Apple and the iPhone, it’s not a secret that they are making a huge profit on the device versus the actual cost of the device…  Huge profit, and despite that people are still paying and would still pay premium for it. But they are still making a huge profit because of the way it took to build the iPhone, the way they spend on R&D and marketing and think about all of the hidden factor that they have invested Together…

Just remember, no one will be valuing you and your time, if you don’t start valuing them yourself first…

Have a beautiful & valuable week.

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Achieving the Impossible?

Whenever we talk about productivity, there’s always this one thing that goes into mind, what is it good for? And don’t get me wrong. It’s not like the the song, “What is it good for, absolutely nothing”.

From the beginning, whenever you want to achieve something, there are multiple ways for you to achieve it. But first, you have to make sure that it is achievable. And there are a lot of categories of achievement of goals and more.

Let’s say in the beginning, when somebody wanted to achieve something that was considered impossible. Impossible, by definition, means that no one has ever done before. That’s impossible. Maybe they tried and it didn’t work out, maybe they didn’t think of that particular solution, I don’t know. But the fact that it is impossible, means that they have tried and it didn’t work out. So the first layer when a goal is impossible is why no one ever managed to do it.

And then you one person manages to break this record or create a new record;  Now, it’s no longer impossible! it just cascaded down to becoming a very, very difficult task. And then you hear that few more people manage to do so then it’s not impossible, but just extremely difficult. It has degraded to just very difficult. when more and more people are capable of doing it just becomes difficult. And after hundreds, and even thousands, millions of people are capable of doing it. It’s just no longer considered difficult.

“It always seems impossible until it is done.”

Nelson Mandela

The reason why you have to look at this from that perspective, is that when you put goals, you need to make sure that they are achievable by you. Are you capable of achieving them? Or are they realistic for you?

You see, if I asked, let’s say, the famous Bill Gates, can you make $1 million in one year? For him that can be very easy, since he built a multi-billion dollar fortune already. Or if I asked you, can you make $1 million in one year? For some This is like an unrealistic number for them to even imagine, right? let’s say a hundred thousand is a big number for you, then you will say it’s a stretch. So we are getting somewhere. So I put that $100,000 and I say, all right, I need you to do it in five years.

What, five years? Okay.

Yes? Can you do so which means you put it with for five years? And then you say this is $100,000? it’s specific, you know, where do you want to get it and it is kind of realistic for you.

Now, you just keep them say, Okay, if I didn’t achieve within five years, let’s divide those numbers over, let’s say, five. And you say, all right, every year, I need to achieve $20,000 and $20,000, you need to make it happen over 12 months, what should I make every month in order for me to reach there, and so on.

Now, reality that things doesn’t happen just as consistent or as equal, as I just described. This week’s tip is about just that if you have no goals you can achieve you cannot achieve what you cannot see.

Sometimes you have to put a draft plan that make sense and you need to adjust along the way you see if I want to make $100,000 after five years, maybe the first year I only made 5000, does that make me not realizing that it is I’m gonna reach those 100,000 more to it than that because I have reached if I reach zero in that first year, maybe then it’s tougher, but I have made something maybe I am in a phase where I need to spend more money even and then maybe the second year I’ve made instead of 10,000, I made 15 or 13,000 and I made more and then the year after I made you said more and the year after and so on. And maybe I don’t manage to get 100,000 but I got like 80,000, is that a bad thing you put 100,000?

People miss understand the power of getting closer to the goals; you see for me if I put a target of 100,000 which was for the huge then I managed to achieve 80% of it. I would be very proud but if I  can make $10,000 a year but let’s say I am capable because I’ve done it like 2, 3, 4 or five times before the achieve 100,000 in five years I still put that 100,000 per year and I get it or I don’t get it then I have a problem with putting your yo goal has to inspire you have to be bigger

Yes it has to be a Stretch, a Stretch to know how far you can go but at the same time have to be realistic. You might start with something and years later. Yeah, my finish with something completely different.

But if you don’t start with anything, just left it like that. More likely you’re not going to reach Where do you want to go and you’re not gonna know where you want to go. So you can’t reach there.

Have a nice week.


Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Be different and spread your wings

When you hear some motivational quotes and speeches, you find a lot of references to the idea of “Wings and flying” suggesting that birds in general are the most motivated and successful creatures… Really???

I was reading the other day on why some birds “sunbath” with their wings wide open and here’s what the article included:

The birds invariably adopt a posture in which the body feathers are fluffed up and one or both wings are held out from the body, with feathers spread. It is thought that using the sun in this way does two things. It both helps the preen oil to spread across the feathers and drives parasites out from within the plumage. Some of these parasites feed on the feathers themselves and all are highly specialized, with many only found on a single species of bird.

So in short, birds use sunbathing with open wings as part of their routine feather maintenance.

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.

Rabindranath Tagore

If we are to look on the behavior of humans, and combine the two analogies of spreading your wings as a mean to refer to success, and also to maintain your feathers, we can come to a nice conclusion which is our tip for this week:

Maintain your success by spreading your wings, and just be different than others, like the birds sit on the floor with their wings open to sunbath, you can make your success speak loud and clear without saying a word.

They say that you are as free as your options, so if you have more options, then you have more freedom than when you have less, and if you have some skill that is different than others, that gives you an additional option, and instead of just trying to ignore that and fitting in… Try to Embrace that and nourish your difference and just like a Bird SHOWCASE IT and maintain in, and eventually, you will do like the bird does… Fly away from whoever tries to criticize you.

Have a beautiful week,


Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Don’t Change too many parameters in your life at the same time

Change is great, don’t get me wrong… It’s wonderful, it’s necessary in our life and the right amount of it, blended with the right areas and dosage produces evolution that often leads to progress.

Let’s start with something that you would like to Hear… CHANGE IS GREAT…. The second (that you don’t like to hear) would be… CHANGING IS NOT GREAT.

Yes, the difference between the 2 statement has to do with where you stand on the line. Are you the one changing? or playing a role in that change or simply you would love to be as far as possible from it when it happen on its own?

Whether you are changing a relationship status (in a good way or a bad way), changing jobs, attending to a restructure in your own company, a New Boss, a New Diet or simply switching from an iPhone to an Android… Change can happen or occur to you on so many levels, and irrespective of what/how it happens, there’s some sort of a change curve that is observed a lot that has a relationship with the Morale of the person and which take around 5-8 steps over time.

Kubler-Ross Change model

If you can just notice a little bit in the Change model illustrated above, you would notice that the person going through some change would start with a SHOCK, Then DENIAL his morale will drop with FRUSTRATION and DEPRESSION and then things will start picking up so they can reach to ACCEPTANCE and INTEGRATION.

No matter how well planned the change management is, or how arbitrary it was, the CHANGED person would go through the same… Only the phases / steps may be much smoother in the Planned change than in the an UN-Planned one.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

Leo Tolstoy

This week’s tip is about dealing with change, especially when it’s a DECISION taken by you, and not imposed on you by someone else.

Some of the most common “New Year’s Resolutions” include a long list of “I Will start a diet, Exercise, Work hard, start a new project, marry, have kids etc… ” and those lists gets longer and longer. Irrespective of how much you would actually implement, but let’s say that one of the main reason these resolutions break down, is when you try to do all of them at the same time.

Let me tell it to you straight… YOU CAN’T JUST WIN EVERYTHING… You will need to chose wisely on what to focus on.

Trying to focus on a lot of things and fight many different battles and try to succeed on many fronts doesn’t seem very hard… IT IS VERY HARD… and that’s why you would love to see it happen more than trying to make it happen yourself.

Think about it this way, if let’s say you implemented multiple changes at the same time and your (kubler-ross) change cycle started… And you are in the Frustration/Depression phase, and then you fire off another change and another change that each will trigger and start their own change cycle all over… You will end us with more and more depression and frustration cycles… That’s why there are higher chances that you DROP IT all together than moving up from Depression to acceptance and integration.

So it’s very simple, whatever you want to do (in one same category) do it… and see how it will go and then after you are out of the change cycle and you can monitor the progress for a while, try to go back and see how you can implement another change.

Have a beautiful week!

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Get to know your own angels and demons

When I was young, and was watching cartoon, there has always been that situation, when the character is about to do something (good or bad), and suddenly they an angel and a devil would appear on each of her shoulder and where each would advise on their own preference…

In many points in our life we may face some situations (let’s call them opportunities for now) where we need to take a decision to seize the moment and go for it or stop our selves from taking another step. Whether you prefer to visualize the small angel and demon talking to you or not… Each of us have some sort of an internal mechanism… You can call it whatever you want (Habits, Instincts, Values, Beliefs, Cultures… etc) but at the end, it’s what drives you to take the next step or not.

“Our minds sometimes see what our hearts wish were true.” 

Dan Brown, Angels & Demons

This week’s tip is about getting to know the Angel & Demon of yours, and how to make sure you don’t have to deal with them at the wrong time. (At least not without knowing them)

The reason this is important is because you would want to get to know yourself better and to have more control over your actions rather than making other uncontrollable factors making you take a decision when you are more vulnerable than your normal 100%.

According to research, if you get under stress and let’s say you are in a fear from something, your brain will shut down some of the functionality and will give over the control to “habit”, so you would do whatever you are used to always do; I guess it’s something that has to do with the evolution of the old man being chased by lions and stuff… So if you were pushed under pressure and your logic got stuck and the auto-pilot took over and you don’t have any time to try out something new, but had to apply “what you always did”… What would that be? and will the Angel take control or will it be the Demon?

You may be in a crisis situation, a relationship “situation”, or just by random. How do would you trigger your Angel Auto-pilot or your Demon Auto-pilot to come out for a small chat?

Well it’s not as simple as it may sound, however, and luckily for you, the source of the wiring our brains are pretty much the same Fundamentally. So Whether the source of stress is actually a lion chasing you, or late bills chasing you; Or the source of Opportunity is a Burger King’s Whooper or a long term Investment… The chemicals in your head would almost act the same. And with high chances that the Angel / Demon would use the same logic on your behalf and you would act the same…

So for this week, try to get to know more about YOU by rehearsing some fake situations or fictional scenarios such as imagining that you were seduced by someone else’s partner while you are married… How would you react? or watch a movie and see if you were in a situation of the bad guy… How would you act?

It’s a funny exercise that you will get better at it with time… and the more you rehearse it… and once you get to know your angel and demon more… You can then TRAIN THEM to act in a specific way rather than relying on what would happen by chance.

Have a great week,

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

5 types of lies you tell yourself and what to do next!

You can guess what Monday is it, it’s Monday the first of April, and traditionally it’s a day where you can allow yourself to lie a “white lie” that is both harmless and entertaining with others… Now whether you do that or not, it became a common practice even with big corporations such as Google, Emirates Airlines and way more, so why not?

You talk to yourself all the time, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing… You just need to be careful with the topic itself… what are the most common 5 lies you tell yourself?

“If you wear a mask for too long, there will come a time when you can not remove it without removing your face.” 

Matshona Dhliwayo

#5 I’m a failure

THE END LIE: That’s one statement that you tell yourself when you feel devastated from trying too hard and not succeeding, however what you may not realize that it’s actually an END RESULT which implies that you WON’T CHANGE no matter what… So instead, you can start by saying… I Failed… OK, Cool… What can I learn from this… OK… Now let’s move on…

#4 I am nearly there

THE MOTIVATIONAL LIE: Now despite that I’m not necessarily against this type of way to motivate your self, but sometimes it is used in a way that gives a false sense of completion and hold you back rather than pushing you forward. Per example, if you are commuting for 20 KM, and you passed 1 KM only… Saying that you are nearly there is an overstatement and at the same time, if you’re on the 19 KM mark, then yes you are truthful… However, When you are 9 KM or 11 KM, then you’re not there yet, and but you are far off where you begun, so in this case, you can motivate yourself in whatever you think feasible to keep going… and Not taking it as a reason to stop.

#3 He loves me but, he’s too busy

THE BETTER-HALF LIE: Yeah yeah yeah… He (or she) loves me… but he is too busy to call, too busy to give me attention and too busy for a lot of other things… But he still loves me… and I’m OK with that…. He did this or that because he cares about me… I must have done something wrong to deserve this… And the list goes on and on.

To be honest with you, WTH!!! … You’re giving excuses on behalf of someone else, so in other words, you are assuming something that you don’t know for certain, and if I know one thing… NOTHING is CERTAIN… a lot of people get deceived by someone who they think they knew… and the best con artists in the world… are those who MAKES YOU BELIEVE IT ON YOUR OWN… So if you’re doing the work of giving your Better-half an excuse… Congratulations… You’ve just made a BETTER-HALF Lie to yourself.

#2 I’m going to do this for the last time

THE ONE LAST TIME LIE: I’m going to __________ (start exercising/ dieting/ stopping this /starting that) tomorrow, be for today, I’m going to do this ONE LAST TIME…

Whether you want to quit a bad habit, or start a new one, the temptation that you can get from the ONE LAST TIME of something is unparalleled. Maybe one last smoke? or one last time with this delicious fast food before switching to healthy eating… Whatever your ONE LAST TIME was… If you really wanted to quit, you would just START and resist the temptation of this type of lies.

#1 You can’t cook the chicken except after removing its legs.

Wait… What?? well as a start you need to give it to me that I grabbed your attention.. Read on cause this is the worst type of Lie of them all!

THE TRUE LIE: I once had a conversation with a friend of mine who told me that when he got married, his wife had a small conflict with his mother who was “suggesting” to her on how to cook chicken which is removing its legs then putting it in the oven. And as weird as it sounded, the wife complained to my friend who told her that the Mother learned it from her mother…

So my friend went to the old grandmother, and asked her on the SECRET… and she simply replied “We had a small oven that didn’t fit the whole chicken.”

Just like the mother of my friend didn’t know why her mother was cooking the chicken this way, and decided not to change the way… We have a lot of habits and Knowledge that we don’t know where it came from, and we do them anyhow… And that eventually they became our Truth! and this the worst type, cause it’s a true lie… And you have no idea that it is…

So how about you check which habits falls in the last category… The Lies that you don’t know they are Lies… And you pass them on!

The tip for this week is obviously related to “Stop selling your lies to yourself”… Despite – again – that I hate lying in general and wouldn’t recommend it in any situation, however for the purpose of this blog, I would focus on the part where telling yourself lies to make something better is the worst you could do.

Have a TRUE-LY wonderful week!

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Use Mindfulness as a productivity tool

Whenever I used to read some books or articles about productivity and how the most successful authors/managers/CEOs/ athletes (… etc) manage their time… They all seem to emphasize the power of Meditation and Mindfulness (One Way or the other).

Whether you meditate professionally or are simply trying it out, getting into the state of calmness brings a lot of very good benefits to your body and soul… Especially enabling you to concentrate more, and even take better decisions throughout really difficult time.

Ever heard the sentence: “Never take a decision while in Anger and never give a promise while you are happy”? it’s kinda true since our mood affects how we can view and evaluate things, and that can affect our productivity tremendously (at least from the idea of not making a mistake or make a decision that you will regret it later on or that will take you more time to fix)…

Meditation brings wisdom; lack of meditation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to wisdom.



This week’s tip is about how to get into this state of calmness and how you can use it as a productivity tool.

In one of my books, I emphasize on the idea of NOT using your head.. Because gets really crowded inside and you may end up with a task taking 50 minutes instead of the original 10… And so forth.

Try to clear your mind every week, 2-3 times per week would be a good start and then you can use it as you see necessarily… And you can do so by using multiple methods some include formal meditation practices such as trying to sit and not think for a while, and others might not sound like meditating but you can actually reach the same results such as engaging in prayers or a religious activity, reading (or better of… Writing), and doing some physical activity like walking (While you are shutting down your analytical brain and focusing on your senses…)

Once you have that practice 2-3 times per week… Or Simply before the start of a task, you have higher chances that (if you have done it properly) you will have a clearer mind to actually perform your task much better.

Enjoy your week,

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Forgive quickly, move on faster and never forget

Even in the deepest of the wholes in your relationships, you can still move out and on…. However the more you stay there, the more comfortable it will look and more importantly, the more painful the move will be.

There are some situations in life where it will be inevitable to escape, maybe you miss-trusted someone and you paid the price, maybe you expected too much from someone and you got disappointing results or just maybe that person is simply YOU.

When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.

Bernard Meltzer

Now I know that what I’m going to say to you might sound more of a cliché, but based on so many experiences of my own and of the people I have interviewed, this cliché does perform better than other tips that you may have seen before.

This week’s tip is about that cliché…

Forgive but never forget.

Let’s say you passed through a bad breakup, irrespective of who’s fault was it, the more you stay without moving on will keep destroying you and your chances of continuing your life… And it’s easier to actually unplugging “while the metal is still hot” than later on when things are colder.

Some would tell you to forget about it and move on… I wouldn’t suggest you do… simply because it’s really REALLY hard to do so… If there was someone who actually figured out how to selectively forget a situation in your life, he or she would be very rich selling that secret to millions of people; So in brief, don’t forget… But the Action that you can really take, is to FORGIVE.

Forgive that person, forgive your self… Either way, it’s a conscious activity that requires both courage and determination..

The Fastest you do so, the easier it is (TRUST ME) to move on… And don’t story there, Move ON…

Blessed are those who give without remembering. And blessed are those who take without forgetting. 

Bernard Meltzer

Never Forget, cause you never really know what the future will bring and how things can change and you may be able to find an opportunity to have a decent CLOSURE that will make it worth it and that will be the last key to make you forget.

Have a wonderful week,

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.