Don’t Change too many parameters in your life at the same time

Change is great, don’t get me wrong… It’s wonderful, it’s necessary in our life and the right amount of it, blended with the right areas and dosage produces evolution that often leads to progress.

Let’s start with something that you would like to Hear… CHANGE IS GREAT…. The second (that you don’t like to hear) would be… CHANGING IS NOT GREAT.

Yes, the difference between the 2 statement has to do with where you stand on the line. Are you the one changing? or playing a role in that change or simply you would love to be as far as possible from it when it happen on its own?

Whether you are changing a relationship status (in a good way or a bad way), changing jobs, attending to a restructure in your own company, a New Boss, a New Diet or simply switching from an iPhone to an Android… Change can happen or occur to you on so many levels, and irrespective of what/how it happens, there’s some sort of a change curve that is observed a lot that has a relationship with the Morale of the person and which take around 5-8 steps over time.

Kubler-Ross Change model

If you can just notice a little bit in the Change model illustrated above, you would notice that the person going through some change would start with a SHOCK, Then DENIAL his morale will drop with FRUSTRATION and DEPRESSION and then things will start picking up so they can reach to ACCEPTANCE and INTEGRATION.

No matter how well planned the change management is, or how arbitrary it was, the CHANGED person would go through the same… Only the phases / steps may be much smoother in the Planned change than in the an UN-Planned one.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

Leo Tolstoy

This week’s tip is about dealing with change, especially when it’s a DECISION taken by you, and not imposed on you by someone else.

Some of the most common “New Year’s Resolutions” include a long list of “I Will start a diet, Exercise, Work hard, start a new project, marry, have kids etc… ” and those lists gets longer and longer. Irrespective of how much you would actually implement, but let’s say that one of the main reason these resolutions break down, is when you try to do all of them at the same time.

Let me tell it to you straight… YOU CAN’T JUST WIN EVERYTHING… You will need to chose wisely on what to focus on.

Trying to focus on a lot of things and fight many different battles and try to succeed on many fronts doesn’t seem very hard… IT IS VERY HARD… and that’s why you would love to see it happen more than trying to make it happen yourself.

Think about it this way, if let’s say you implemented multiple changes at the same time and your (kubler-ross) change cycle started… And you are in the Frustration/Depression phase, and then you fire off another change and another change that each will trigger and start their own change cycle all over… You will end us with more and more depression and frustration cycles… That’s why there are higher chances that you DROP IT all together than moving up from Depression to acceptance and integration.

So it’s very simple, whatever you want to do (in one same category) do it… and see how it will go and then after you are out of the change cycle and you can monitor the progress for a while, try to go back and see how you can implement another change.

Have a beautiful week!
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Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

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Keep Learning to Become Successful, then Start Unlearning to stay that way!

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” ~Professor Leon C. Megginson

When you often hear about Change and Evolution, depending on your age, you might visualize Charles Darwin talking about how we, the humans, have evolved or you might simply take a glimpse and think about how the use of Mobile phones evolved to changed our life…

I’ve had an interesting discussion with the Former the Microsoft’s UK Head of Education, after she moved to the Middle East and took a leadership role in Oman; She was sharing some tips from her evolved lifestyle between 2 different culture of business and even between 2 different Eras and reminded me that the key to a successful evolution is adapting to change and most importantly… Unlearning.

For this week’s tip, we’re not going into a complete paradigm shift and change our current reality (like Neo took the red Pill in the Matrix and everything changed 🙂 ) instead, we need to take a deeper look at how we, as individuals, have several habits and learning that we are so attached to,  that we try to change the circumstances to fit what we know, rather than to change what we know to fit the circumstances.

What is Unlearning?

Unlearning is not reframing or refreezing or something along that lines. They all focus on an end state whereas unlearning is about moving away from something rather than moving towards something.

So unlearning is exactly what it says. Intending to let go of what we have already learned or acquired. It is not about right or wrong. It is about being open to and exploring something that lies underneath the judgment, underneath the right and the wrong.

How do we unLearn?

Margie Warrell once explained unlearning, by LEARNING TO BE AGILE (to be flexible!) and quoting from her article at Forbes.com

Unlearning is about moving away from something—letting go—rather than acquiring. It’s like stripping old paint. It lays the foundation for the new layer of fresh learning to be acquired and to stick. But like the painter who needs to prepare a surface, stripping the paint is 70% of the work while repainting is only 30%.

So to sum it up, YES change is hard, and it’s a slow process, but it’s not impossible, and just like in order to throw an Arrow you need to Pull back; changing and adapting will make you experience some decrease in productivity and enthusiasm for a little while, but it will help you STAY successful!

Have a Nice Week!
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Samer Chidiac

Samer Chidiac is a Sr. Strategist, Author & an International Innovation Expert.

The Monday Tip Weekly blog is part of the “Influencing the Life of Others” project