When things are OK, everyone is OK!

For some reason when things go well in any project or idea or task or behavior and when everything is just great, most would stop looking at the details; This one relationship is meant to be when you meet that right person, even if you met him or her at the most awkward of situations, but as long as the end result is good, somehow people are okay with whatever happened before that while if things didn’t go well, then people will start questioning all sorts of errors and start talking about why would you allow yourself to be in that situation in the first place!

This is key, you may have met the right person during all the wonderful circumstances being at the right time the right place with the right introductions… Everything went smoothly afterwards, you introduced him or her to your friends, family and started going out, etc. and days and months and even years went fantastically only it ended afterwards but also on a positive note. It just didn’t work out and no one was hurt. and Life goes on!

In that particular case, people may look at it and say sentences like: Oh, well, it’s OK.

In contrast, If you go out with somebody, and then things doesn’t go as they way they should, then for some reason Everyone (yourself included) would start questioning your ability to pick the right person, and you may start hearing about how you don’t know or you don’t understand women or men or how you don’t understand how to go out or how you don’t you didn’t give enough time… You didn’t do thisYou didn’t do that... It seems that everybody would become experts in finding some sort of a fault in your sky.

Nevertheless, very few would look at it from your perspective and try to see how this could have worked properly. Let’s say two persons met while both of were drunk at a party and ended up sleeping together on the first night and later on, fell in love and made a wonderful family and kids, etc. Would that make the first meeting an optimal one ? despite how this would have gone horribly wrong, yet it didn’t.

So why is everybody suddenly more forgiving and understanding with that scenario but not so much when the end results were not fine? from my experience, and from let’s say, practically all of the rich and famous people, most of them experienced a very rough childhood with very bad experiences during their early beginnings. Yes, person A got raped when she was young and she became a fantastic and most successful TV host, The other person B had to borrow money to eat and then became the richest and the other person C slept in his garage without taking showers for a month and stories would keep flowing… You would have endless horrible and miserable beginnings for very famous people. So why this doesn’t actually means that all the others who have had similar beginnings but somehow didn’t end up rich and famous are worthy of our attention? does that make things okay?

This week’s Tip is about exactly that: When things are okay. People are okay. When things go wrong. People start questioning the okay. The right thing is always right and the wrong thing is always wrong. Whether you admit this or not, the right way of meeting people, of doing business, of starting is always right. The wrong way, however, is also wrong, No matter if it led to a happy ending or not. You have to admit that if something will lead to a wonderful ending, let’s say a mistake happened and you manage to come up with a very brilliant idea, that doesn’t make the mistake anything else than what it already is, you need to admit that this may have been the best mistake ever, but still call it a mistake and if something went right and ended wrong, you need to still acknowledge that it was right instead of focusing on the end result and saying this is wrong.

Whether in business, relationships, or practically anything else, you may need to try un-orthodox manners to reach your goals, nevertheless, trying to put a filter won’t help in validating your means, cause in order to fix your tooth, the dentist may have to make you suffer a lot of pain in order to save you from a lot afterwards, that doesn’t make it feel like a pleasant experience.

Have a nice week.
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Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

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Reading the signs and signals

Working as a futurist and as a senior strategist for a while now, taught me a lot of things and one of the most important lessons I learned was about reading signs… Signs about the future, and about what can happen to you or let’s say MAY happen to you.

 Let’s say that you are driving your car, to hear a weird sound coming from the engine, then that sound stops and you don’t hear it again… You may decide to check it out (just to be on the safe side) or just ignore it as it just happened as a one-time thing… if the same sound gets repeated another time, then the sign of something that may be wrong gets stronger, and your internal voice would start communicating with you to tell you that it would be wise to check it out… and if that sound was there for the 3rd time, the sign is stronger now, and you are now saying that you need to check it out… but come on, the car is still running, and everything seems in order, so you decide to get the car engine checked “when you have time”… 2 weeks later, your car broke down while you were taking your wife and kids out and the timing couldn’t be more wrong… and the story went on…

 Another configuration of the same scenario can go into relationships, business transactions, and any other you may think of… you may see some signs that can seem weird but not necessarily worrying from your friend or partner, and then you notice the same behavior more than once until a big issue can happen like betrayal or whatever.

 This week’s tip is about the action that you need to train your self on doing… It’s not about the signs… It’s about READING the signs… You may be going into a place and you see a sign outside in a different language that you don’t understand, and you ignore it and go, only to discover that this sign was meant to stop you from entering or from performing an action and so.

 Some of us are lucky to have CLEAR signs on their way, while the rest of us are not… Imagine that you could see a person wearing a sign that says “Liar” or “Cheater” before things would be more serious between you two. Therefore if you want to train your self on reading the signals, you need to understand patterns and trends… and then you can spot the outlier among these, so taking the example of the car, you know what the different sounds that it produces, and you can tell which sound is “natural” and which is not.

 Find out about something that is wrong, or let’s say not right come from reviewing and analyzing the landscape of all the patterns and what is traditionally have been considered in a normal range and which is not… and mostly you would “feel” that something is not right… Yes, you read that properly… Experienced professional would sense and feel that something is not right but they can’t tell what is it… so they start investigating more… maybe by reviewing old data (did this happen before… with me or with someone else?) and if they couldn’t find it in the old data… they would create a situation that would make them surer or not…

 Just like a doctor, you may find a patient showing a specific symptom, that may seem like a specific sickness, but you can’t be sure with the current data, so you ask for more tests, like blood tests and you check the results against what should be classified as the normal range and you find the outliers and evaluate if these outliers together can prove your theory or not..

 The advice I can give you is that you are NOT to ignore the signs, some signs lead to great opportunities, and some are for a potential discomfort and even a disaster… and they call it the “Window” of opportunity for a reason… if you don’t act quickly, you would miss It and it will be closed; meanwhile, the threat would start small, and then it grows.

 Trust your hunch, and act wisely and appropriately… and it’s ok to be wrong… the more you are wrong, you learn, and the next time you’re more trained to make the right discovery.

 Enjoy your week,

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Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Find your soul mate with your heart, mind and soul

I have been asked this question on multiple occasions, and I while I can’t really answer in a scientific way, but at least I can just tell you what I think and what do the ones I have interviewed think about this topic.

Let’s face it, finding something you don’t know what it looks like is very hard, cause it can be starring at you in the face and you wouldn’t realize… And that is mostly the case around the world… People want to find someone that they can’t define, and when they do end up by defining them, their definition is more vague than real… That you end up looking up for Mr. or Ms. Perfect…

How do you find your soulmate?

I had a conversation a while back with a colleague, she comes from a traditional and conservative family which means that meeting a person can be a bit more tricky since she will have a relatively small time to get to know properly at first before things are more Formal… And only then they can get to know each others properly.

And while that is not necessarily a bad thing, a lot of successful marriages happened that way, and from all backgrounds and corners of the world.

My response to my colleague was in a tips form, and here’s some of the points that we talked about:

  • You don’t really know someone unless you either have lived with them or traveled with them.
  • Sometimes the smallest of details are the breaking points in relationships, per example, you will never know how your life can become with a SNORING PARTNER… Are you Ok with that? Will you be ok?
  • When you expedite your life into years and years, and the fun is over… Do your dreams and plans are still aligned? or it’s simply one side of the equation and the other partner will just follow?
  • How much SOCIALLY are you pressured to get married?
  • and more…

A lot of questions more than answers are posted in such conversations, but the core and fundamentals of the answer are simple sometimes:

Find your soulmate with your mind, heart, and soul

This week’s tip is about that… So without further introduction here are some things you can start with:

  1. Find someone as attractive as you are (too much or too little will certainly keep either of you feeling lower or higher… which is not what you are aiming for)
  2. Find someone with mutual intellectual vibes… You could have a PhD while he hasn’t finished High School… that doesn’t really mean that you can’t click and won’t have mutually intellectual vibes… Based on your views and conversations and how you each see the world… it will say a lot of things about you.
  3. Find someone with mutual interests: You like photography? outings? parties? movies, books, sports… etc… It goes without saying…
  4. Find someone with the same direction as you: If you are planning to leave to Canada while he is planning to stay in his own country, or vice versa; or simply you are looking for stability while they are more risky type (to the gambling extreme)… then these pose questions that you won’t be able to solve later.
  5. Find someone with the spiritual element close to yours: You may be the religious type or not, and they might be slightly like you or not… DON’T COUNT THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO CHANGE THEM OR YOU WILL BE ABLE TO CHANGE… It’s a Flag…

As a conclusion, there’s no specific nor scientific answer… Just take your time, make sure you both are attracted to each others on multiple levels and the feeling is fairly mutual and not socially pressured.

Have a wonderful week!
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Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Ask yourself about the reason

They say of a story of 3 birds that live together in a nest on the top of a tree; one of the these birds goes out everyday and gets food for the rest, the second one takes care of the nest (house) and protects it and keeps it habitable, while the third bird just sits there all day and do nothing. 

One day, a storm came along and the tree started to shake very enormously, and the three birds were very afraid that things might not end up in a very good way for all of them. 

The storm became more furious, and the nest became at risk and the only way to keep it from falling, is that one of the 3 birds needed to leave the nest so it can hold the other 2. 

The first bird said: “I should stay, I’m the most important one, ain’t I the one who bring food and provide for this nest?”

The Second bird also said: “I should stay, I’m the one who take care of the nest, and protect it. “

The third bird looked at both, knowing where this would lead to and said in a crying eye: “It is because of me that we have a nest, each one of you can easily live alone… But it is because of me, that all of us are together in the nest… I’m the reason for this nest to BE.”

Despite the enormous storm, the three birds decided to stick together no matter what happens, and hours later, the storm ended… But the reason for making them a family didn’t.

 You Don’t Choose your family, they are GOD’s gift to you, as you are to them.

Desmond Tutu

The story of the 3 birds is a story that can be observed in so many homes, and in every family; We sometimes forget the reason that brings us together and can recall so many other reasons that would set us apart. 

This week’s Tip is about Finding the Reason. 

In the darkest of nights, and in the brightest of days, the reasons can sometimes be hidden in plain sights, we could chose not to see them properly or to ignore them all together. However there will be times where these reasons will be the cause you are will be saved. 

Cheers,
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Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.