I have been asked this question on multiple occasions, and I while I can’t really answer in a scientific way, but at least I can just tell you what I think and what do the ones I have interviewed think about this topic.
Let’s face it, finding something you don’t know what it looks like is very hard, cause it can be starring at you in the face and you wouldn’t realize… And that is mostly the case around the world… People want to find someone that they can’t define, and when they do end up by defining them, their definition is more vague than real… That you end up looking up for Mr. or Ms. Perfect…
How do you find your soulmate?
I had a conversation a while back with a colleague, she comes from a traditional and conservative family which means that meeting a person can be a bit more tricky since she will have a relatively small time to get to know properly at first before things are more Formal… And only then they can get to know each others properly.
And while that is not necessarily a bad thing, a lot of successful marriages happened that way, and from all backgrounds and corners of the world.
My response to my colleague was in a tips form, and here’s some of the points that we talked about:
- You don’t really know someone unless you either have lived with them or traveled with them.
- Sometimes the smallest of details are the breaking points in relationships, per example, you will never know how your life can become with a SNORING PARTNER… Are you Ok with that? Will you be ok?
- When you expedite your life into years and years, and the fun is over… Do your dreams and plans are still aligned? or it’s simply one side of the equation and the other partner will just follow?
- How much SOCIALLY are you pressured to get married?
- and more…
A lot of questions more than answers are posted in such conversations, but the core and fundamentals of the answer are simple sometimes:
Find your soulmate with your mind, heart, and soul
This week’s tip is about that… So without further introduction here are some things you can start with:
- Find someone as attractive as you are (too much or too little will certainly keep either of you feeling lower or higher… which is not what you are aiming for)
- Find someone with mutual intellectual vibes… You could have a PhD while he hasn’t finished High School… that doesn’t really mean that you can’t click and won’t have mutually intellectual vibes… Based on your views and conversations and how you each see the world… it will say a lot of things about you.
- Find someone with mutual interests: You like photography? outings? parties? movies, books, sports… etc… It goes without saying…
- Find someone with the same direction as you: If you are planning to leave to Canada while he is planning to stay in his own country, or vice versa; or simply you are looking for stability while they are more risky type (to the gambling extreme)… then these pose questions that you won’t be able to solve later.
- Find someone with the spiritual element close to yours: You may be the religious type or not, and they might be slightly like you or not… DON’T COUNT THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO CHANGE THEM OR YOU WILL BE ABLE TO CHANGE… It’s a Flag…
As a conclusion, there’s no specific nor scientific answer… Just take your time, make sure you both are attracted to each others on multiple levels and the feeling is fairly mutual and not socially pressured.
Have a wonderful week!
Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker.