For some reason when things go well in any project or idea or task or behavior and when everything is just great, most would stop looking at the details; This one relationship is meant to be when you meet that right person, even if you met him or her at the most awkward of situations, but as long as the end result is good, somehow people are okay with whatever happened before that while if things didn’t go well, then people will start questioning all sorts of errors and start talking about why would you allow yourself to be in that situation in the first place!
This is key, you may have met the right person during all the wonderful circumstances being at the right time the right place with the right introductions… Everything went smoothly afterwards, you introduced him or her to your friends, family and started going out, etc. and days and months and even years went fantastically only it ended afterwards but also on a positive note. It just didn’t work out and no one was hurt. and Life goes on!
In that particular case, people may look at it and say sentences like: Oh, well, it’s OK.
In contrast, If you go out with somebody, and then things doesn’t go as they way they should, then for some reason Everyone (yourself included) would start questioning your ability to pick the right person, and you may start hearing about how you don’t know or you don’t understand women or men or how you don’t understand how to go out or how you don’t you didn’t give enough time… You didn’t do this… You didn’t do that... It seems that everybody would become experts in finding some sort of a fault in your sky.
Nevertheless, very few would look at it from your perspective and try to see how this could have worked properly. Let’s say two persons met while both of were drunk at a party and ended up sleeping together on the first night and later on, fell in love and made a wonderful family and kids, etc. Would that make the first meeting an optimal one ? despite how this would have gone horribly wrong, yet it didn’t.
So why is everybody suddenly more forgiving and understanding with that scenario but not so much when the end results were not fine? from my experience, and from let’s say, practically all of the rich and famous people, most of them experienced a very rough childhood with very bad experiences during their early beginnings. Yes, person A got raped when she was young and she became a fantastic and most successful TV host, The other person B had to borrow money to eat and then became the richest and the other person C slept in his garage without taking showers for a month and stories would keep flowing… You would have endless horrible and miserable beginnings for very famous people. So why this doesn’t actually means that all the others who have had similar beginnings but somehow didn’t end up rich and famous are worthy of our attention? does that make things okay?
This week’s Tip is about exactly that: When things are okay. People are okay. When things go wrong. People start questioning the okay. The right thing is always right and the wrong thing is always wrong. Whether you admit this or not, the right way of meeting people, of doing business, of starting is always right. The wrong way, however, is also wrong, No matter if it led to a happy ending or not. You have to admit that if something will lead to a wonderful ending, let’s say a mistake happened and you manage to come up with a very brilliant idea, that doesn’t make the mistake anything else than what it already is, you need to admit that this may have been the best mistake ever, but still call it a mistake and if something went right and ended wrong, you need to still acknowledge that it was right instead of focusing on the end result and saying this is wrong.
Whether in business, relationships, or practically anything else, you may need to try un-orthodox manners to reach your goals, nevertheless, trying to put a filter won’t help in validating your means, cause in order to fix your tooth, the dentist may have to make you suffer a lot of pain in order to save you from a lot afterwards, that doesn’t make it feel like a pleasant experience.
Have a nice week.
Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker.