You can guess what Monday is it, it’s Monday the first of April, and traditionally it’s a day where you can allow yourself to lie a “white lie” that is both harmless and entertaining with others… Now whether you do that or not, it became a common practice even with big corporations such as Google, Emirates Airlines and way more, so why not?
You talk to yourself all the time, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing… You just need to be careful with the topic itself… what are the most common 5 lies you tell yourself?
“If you wear a mask for too long, there will come a time when you can not remove it without removing your face.”Matshona Dhliwayo
#5 I’m a failure
THE END LIE: That’s one statement that you tell yourself when you feel devastated from trying too hard and not succeeding, however what you may not realize that it’s actually an END RESULT which implies that you WON’T CHANGE no matter what… So instead, you can start by saying… I Failed… OK, Cool… What can I learn from this… OK… Now let’s move on…
#4 I am nearly there
THE MOTIVATIONAL LIE: Now despite that I’m not necessarily against this type of way to motivate your self, but sometimes it is used in a way that gives a false sense of completion and hold you back rather than pushing you forward. Per example, if you are commuting for 20 KM, and you passed 1 KM only… Saying that you are nearly there is an overstatement and at the same time, if you’re on the 19 KM mark, then yes you are truthful… However, When you are 9 KM or 11 KM, then you’re not there yet, and but you are far off where you begun, so in this case, you can motivate yourself in whatever you think feasible to keep going… and Not taking it as a reason to stop.
#3 He loves me but, he’s too busy
THE BETTER-HALF LIE: Yeah yeah yeah… He (or she) loves me… but he is too busy to call, too busy to give me attention and too busy for a lot of other things… But he still loves me… and I’m OK with that…. He did this or that because he cares about me… I must have done something wrong to deserve this… And the list goes on and on.
To be honest with you, WTH!!! … You’re giving excuses on behalf of someone else, so in other words, you are assuming something that you don’t know for certain, and if I know one thing… NOTHING is CERTAIN… a lot of people get deceived by someone who they think they knew… and the best con artists in the world… are those who MAKES YOU BELIEVE IT ON YOUR OWN… So if you’re doing the work of giving your Better-half an excuse… Congratulations… You’ve just made a BETTER-HALF Lie to yourself.
#2 I’m going to do this for the last time
THE ONE LAST TIME LIE: I’m going to __________ (start exercising/ dieting/ stopping this /starting that) tomorrow, be for today, I’m going to do this ONE LAST TIME…
Whether you want to quit a bad habit, or start a new one, the temptation that you can get from the ONE LAST TIME of something is unparalleled. Maybe one last smoke? or one last time with this delicious fast food before switching to healthy eating… Whatever your ONE LAST TIME was… If you really wanted to quit, you would just START and resist the temptation of this type of lies.
#1 You can’t cook the chicken except after removing its legs.
Wait… What?? well as a start you need to give it to me that I grabbed your attention.. Read on cause this is the worst type of Lie of them all!
THE TRUE LIE: I once had a conversation with a friend of mine who told me that when he got married, his wife had a small conflict with his mother who was “suggesting” to her on how to cook chicken which is removing its legs then putting it in the oven. And as weird as it sounded, the wife complained to my friend who told her that the Mother learned it from her mother…
So my friend went to the old grandmother, and asked her on the SECRET… and she simply replied “We had a small oven that didn’t fit the whole chicken.”
Just like the mother of my friend didn’t know why her mother was cooking the chicken this way, and decided not to change the way… We have a lot of habits and Knowledge that we don’t know where it came from, and we do them anyhow… And that eventually they became our Truth! and this the worst type, cause it’s a true lie… And you have no idea that it is…
So how about you check which habits falls in the last category… The Lies that you don’t know they are Lies… And you pass them on!
The tip for this week is obviously related to “Stop selling your lies to yourself”… Despite – again – that I hate lying in general and wouldn’t recommend it in any situation, however for the purpose of this blog, I would focus on the part where telling yourself lies to make something better is the worst you could do.
Have a TRUE-LY wonderful week!
Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker.