During my path of coaching and assisting people, whether it was on a professional or personal level, if we were in a casual conversation or in a formal meeting, I have encountered a lot of similarities in what hold some people off from realizing their potential, and sometimes in what is holding them from doing any type of progress!
This week’s tip is inspired by the same conversation that I had with like at least a dozen of individuals (with variations of course); the initial versus of the conversation starts with something like:
- I don’t know what to do …
- My personal life is going nowhere…
- My professional life is going nowhere…
- I’m not the same person I used to be before…
and then it continues on and on, and at some point in the conversation, I would ask “Why can’t you do this… ” and the reply is always similar to:
- But you don’t understand, how can I do this while THAT is still there…
- I can’t focus on my work while my Personal life is not working…
- I can’t focus on My self while I’m having issues at my work…
So to cut it short, here’s what I end up saying:
“My dear <NAME>,
Let me put it this way for you, there are 3 Circles in your life. 1) The Professional Life, 2) The Personal Life & 3) The Private Life.
1) The Professional Life: includes all the work related items, your relationship with your boss, colleagues etc
2) Your Personal Life: includes your family, friends, loved ones, LOVEd one, and your life with them
3) Your Private Life: which includes YOU, how you eat, drink, exercise, what makes you happy, and what makes you sad… etc
All 3 constitute YOUR LIFE, but let’s be realistic, those 3 areas are not the front of the BLADE of a BULLDOZER that you use to CRAFT your life AT THE SAME TIME! in fact although they are interconnected and interdependent, they are to be dealt with separately.
Of course when you are happy at home, and you are in great physical shape, it would affect your professional life in a positive manner. Of Course, the opposite will affect (and would probably mess up) everything around you. But Hey! don’t make yourself the CENTER of the 3 circles, just understand that The Center is YOU. And you just need to have a mental separation to all 3…
- You need to Eat healthy, take care of your self, EVEN IF YOUR professional life is not going well.. Don’t Stop Taking care of yourself…
- You need to take good care of your personal life Even if you have issues at work
- You need to keep the work related issues… AT WORK….
From what I learned from Successful people, they do that a lot, they have this amazing ability of separating things mentally, if they have issues at home, they don’t make that affect their responsibility and especially their communication with their employees, teams and colleagues… If they have an issue at Work, they don’t bring on the stress home to their family.
If you put yourself in the Spotlight of the 3 circles, you won’t get satisfaction unless everything is solved / working optimally, however realizing that the center is you, makes you work further on developing / handling each aspect separately and enjoy the benefits!
Enjoy your Week!
Samer Chidiac is a Sr. Strategist, Author & an International Innovation Expert.
The Monday Tip Weekly blog is part of the “Influencing the Life of Others” project
4 thoughts on “You are not the center, the center is You”
I’m really considering looking for a life coach but I don’t know where to start and they’re so expensive.
I’d love to help you in your decision, and to evaluate if you really need a Life Coach or not.
Since you’re one of my readers, It would be my pleasure to support you and would like to offer you a Free 1-hour Coaching Session (No Strings attached, with no commitments whatsoever), that would help you get started on the right path, and would even recommend people who would help you out. (I normally coach CEOs & Senior level Executives so I might not be personally the right coach for you.)
If interested, just reply to this thread and we could schedule a skype call afterwards,
I would love that!
great, just drop me a quick msg on sam (at> chidiac <dot) net