Category: Motivation

You Are As Free As Your Options

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Imagine, for just ten fleeting seconds, that you are in a prison cell. A stark, grey, limiting enclosure that permits only a handful of activities. Picture the barren walls, the sense of confinement, and the stifling limitation of your choices (Food, Activities, Friends…etc.). Does it feel free? Probably not. You would likely feel as if your wings were clipped, freedom cruelly yanked away, and your personal liberty redefined in terms of your limited options.

Now, jolt back into reality. Your life isn’t confined within four walls. There are no bars on your windows, but let’s say you feel “Limited” and constrained by what you can do. Do you feel utterly free? Does that feel a bit like living in a virtual prison cell?

As we travel through the landscape of our life, especially during the bad times in our lives, we start questioning the true extent of our freedom.

Renowned self-help author Brian Tracy once said, “You are as free as your options.” Now, this statement may seem a little confusing at first glance. After all, aren’t we all ‘free’ in our respective lives? Yet, Tracy’s profound statement encourages us to ponder over the quality of our freedom and the extent of our options.

To understand this, consider the skills you’ve acquired, the languages you can speak, the activities you can perform, and the hobbies you’ve nurtured. Each one of these elements represents an option, a door leading to potential opportunities. Each language you speak opens up conversations with new people; each skill allows you to explore different career paths, and every hobby has the potential to blossom into a profitable venture.

And the more of these options you have, the more freedom you possess. For you are not chained by circumstances or restricted by lack of choices, you have an array of paths to traverse, an ocean of possibilities to explore.

So, what does this mean for you, dear reader?

Firstly, never underestimate the power of a hobby. Do you love painting? Can you strum a tune on your guitar? Are you passionate about blogging? Every hobby holds within it the seed of a potential side job. Moreover, it provides a break from your routine, a chance to explore something you truly love, and an opportunity to create and contribute.

Secondly, never stop learning. Just as a river that doesn’t flow becomes stagnant, a mind that doesn’t learn becomes stagnant too. Stay curious. Read books. Take online courses. Learn a new language. Each new skill, every nugget of knowledge, expands your options and, therefore, your freedom.

Lastly, build connections. Meet people. Network. Share ideas. Collaborate. The more people you connect with, the broader your worldview becomes. Each connection is a potential opportunity waiting to be explored.

Meet Rola, a dedicated accountant with a reputed firm, meticulously analyzing columns of numbers from dawn till dusk. Despite her career’s financial stability, Rola felt increasingly confined, her life a constant loop of figures and balance sheets. Yet, there was a silver lining – her passion for baking. Within the cozy confines of her apartment kitchen, amidst the aroma of fresh bake, she discovered an escape, a world where she felt liberated and free.

One day, a moment of realization dawned upon Rola. She recognized her culinary hobby as a form of escapism and a viable opportunity waiting to be harnessed. Inspired, she honed her baking skills, shared her creations with friends, and gradually transformed her passion into a small business. Breaking away from her accounting job, Rola seized control of her own hours, clients, and career path, ultimately finding her true freedom in the swirl of cream and the crunch of a cookie. Rola’s journey serves as a reminder that our passions often hold the key to options and freedoms we might not initially recognize.

Remember, freedom is not a static state. It’s dynamic, it’s growing, and it’s within your grasp. Every skill you acquire, every connection you make, and every hobby you nurture brings you one step closer to becoming a freer, more versatile version of yourself.

As Brian Tracy puts it, you are indeed as free as your options. So, seize every opportunity, harness every option, and explore every potential. That’s the way to live a life of boundless freedom.

Have a Wonderful Week!

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Be Bold, and Fortune Favors the Bold

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On a day like today, about 15 years ago, I experienced fear as I’ve never experienced throughout my whole life; I came super close to being in the line of fire between armed military conflict in what I could call a mini-civil war that happened in Beirut in May 2008;

It was around 1:00 AM, I can still remember the loud sound of firearms getting closer and closer to the building I lived in, and then the armed groups were in the building itself and on their way up, floor by floor until they had a battle at one floor that included explosive and machine guns. Then they continued until they reached my door. I was hiding with a friend, trying not even to breathe loudly as we feared that would be our last; imagine that you are literally one WALL, One Door away from your inevitable dark destiny.

That night was one of the longest in my life, and while many details happened during and after, I can just summarize that I have experienced fear and appreciation of life very deeply, and surviving that trauma and experience, taught me so much that I still carry through during my personal and professional life.

In the spirit of my memory, I wanted today to explore the famous proverb “Fortune Favors the Bold” and how it has inspired countless business leaders to achieve success. We’ll dive into the origins of this ancient wisdom and then look at some modern examples of entrepreneurs who have embodied this principle in their journeys to the top.

“audentes Fortuna iuvat” ~ Virgil, The Aeneid

The proverb “Fortune Favors the Bold” has its roots in ancient Roman times. The phrase is derived from the Latin expression “audentes Fortuna iuvat”, which was used by the famous Roman poet Virgil in his epic work, The Aeneid. In the poem, the hero Aeneas is encouraged by the gods to take risks and face his fears in order to fulfill his destiny. This principle of embracing courage and daring in the face of uncertainty has since been passed down through the ages and has become a guiding principle for many successful individuals. There are so many examples of how leaders were bold in their decisions and actions, and as a result, they changed the world; my favorite would certainly be how Steve Jobs and the iPhone.

Steve Jobs, the co-founder and former CEO of Apple, was a prime example of boldness in the face of a mature market. When the first iPhone was introduced in 2007, the mobile phone industry was dominated by well-established players like Nokia, BlackBerry, and Motorola. However, Jobs was not deterred by the seemingly saturated market. Instead, he saw an opportunity to revolutionize the way people interacted with their mobile devices.

One of the most significant ways Jobs demonstrated his boldness was by creating a product that combined multiple functionalities into a single device. The iPhone was not just a phone, but also a music player, a web browser, and a camera. This innovative approach challenged the status quo and forced competitors to rethink their product offerings.

Furthermore, Jobs was fearless in creating a unique and intuitive user interface that would redefine the mobile phone experience. With the introduction of the touchscreen, he eliminated the need for a physical keyboard and buttons, making the iPhone a game-changer in terms of usability and design.

Another bold move by Jobs was the creation of the App Store, which opened up a whole new world of possibilities for developers and users alike. This platform allowed third-party developers to create applications for the iPhone, transforming it into a versatile, customizable device. The App Store fueled the growth of the smartphone app ecosystem and solidified Apple’s position as an industry leader.

In summary, Steve Jobs’ boldness in positioning the iPhone as a global success can be attributed to his ability to challenge conventional wisdom, embrace innovation, and create a product that revolutionized the mobile phone industry. By taking risks and pushing boundaries, Jobs demonstrated the power of “Fortune Favors the Bold” in the face of a mature market.

Other examples of leaders that embody the proverb “Fortune Favors the Bold”

  1. Elon Musk – Tesla and SpaceX: Elon Musk’s journey to becoming a global entrepreneur is a testament to the power of boldness. His decision to invest in electric cars and space exploration, industries that were once deemed risky and unprofitable, has paid off in a big way. Musk’s fearlessness and unwavering vision have led to groundbreaking achievements such as the launch of the Falcon Heavy rocket and the establishment of Tesla as a market leader in electric vehicles.
  2. Richard Branson – Virgin Group: Sir Richard Branson is another example of a business leader who has achieved great success by embracing the “Fortune Favors the Bold” mentality. The Virgin Group founder has never shied away from taking risks, whether it’s starting his own airline or venturing into space tourism. Branson’s willingness to challenge conventional wisdom and take on established industries has earned him a reputation as a maverick entrepreneur.
  3. Sheryl Sandberg – Facebook: Sheryl Sandberg, the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, has shown that boldness and determination can lead to significant achievements in the business world. Sandberg’s advocacy for women’s empowerment and leadership, as outlined in her best-selling book “Lean In”, has inspired countless women to pursue their own ambitions. By fearlessly tackling issues like gender inequality in the workplace, Sandberg has solidified her position as a trailblazer in the tech industry.

So for this week’s tip, remember that the timeless proverb “Fortune Favors the Bold” serves as a powerful reminder that success often comes to those who are willing to take risks and embrace the unknown. As we face the challenges of our own lives and careers, let’s remember to be courageous and seize the opportunities that come our way.

So, be bold, embrace the uncertainty, and watch as fortune smiles upon you. See you next week for another edition of “The Monday Tip”!

Have a wonderful week,

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Carpe Diem. Make your Life Extraordinary!

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I can’t remember when was the first time I actually had the chance to watch “Dead Poets Society” for the first time in the early 90s. Still, I surely remember rewatching it many times over and reliving the “Oh Captain, My Captain” moment that symbolizes the admiration of the students for their teacher and a reminder of the importance of inspiring and mentoring others to greatness.

As we grow older, both our personal and professional lives undergo significant changes and turbulence. We may face unexpected challenges, encounter difficult people, and experience setbacks that can leave us feeling discouraged or overwhelmed. In these moments, it can be easy to lose sight of the present and become consumed by worry and anxiety about the future.

In the movie “Dead Poets Society,” Robin Williams plays John Keating, an English teacher at an elite boys’ prep school. In one scene, he encourages his students to seize the day and live life to the fullest. He tells them about the Latin phrase “Carpe Diem” and its meaning, inspiring them to make the most of their time.

Keating: “Carpe Diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.”

Neil Perry, played by Robert Sean Leonard, is a student who is inspired by Keating’s words. He is determined to follow his dreams, even if they go against his father’s expectations.

Neil: “I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life. To put to rout all that was not life, and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived.”

Keating: “Thank you, Mr. Thoreau. See, you’re doing it again, Neil. You’re doing it again. You’re living for them. You’re letting them control your life. Don’t you understand? You have to make your own life. Now, don’t let these bastards get you down. You all have a little bit of ‘I want to save the world’ in you. That’s why you’re here, in school, studying literature, trying to find out what makes good art. And, dare I say it, even a little bit of what makes bad art. Because, in both cases, it’s you, the student, who will decide what goes on the walls. It’s you who will decide what’s good or bad. Gentlemen, I am your teacher. I hold you accountable for your actions. There’s a time for daring and there’s a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.”

The scene is a powerful reminder to seize the day and live life to the fullest, despite challenges and obstacles. It is a call to action that resonates with audiences of all ages and backgrounds, inspiring them to make the most of their time and pursue their dreams.

“Carpe Diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.” ~Dead Poets Society

In this week’s Monday Tip, I want you to take a moment to reflect on the potential CARPE DIEM decision in your life, whether it is in your professional life or your personal life

In our professional lives, this means taking risks, pursuing new opportunities, and being open to learning and growth. It means embracing change and adapting to new situations rather than clinging to the familiar and comfortable.

In our personal lives, seizing the moment means taking time to appreciate the people and experiences that bring us joy and fulfillment. It means stepping out of our comfort zones and trying new things, even if they seem scary or intimidating.

Ultimately, seizing the moment is about living life to the fullest and making the most of the time we have. So let’s all take a page from the “Dead Poets Society” playbook and remember to seize the day, every day.

Enjoy your Week,

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ACCEPT what is, LET GO of what was, and HAVE FAITH in what will be.

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2022 has been an exceptional year; maybe it was the end of a cycle of world-changing events that introduced us to a new era of living, or just another year that came to remind us of what mattered in our lives.

I have personally experienced loss on multiple levels during that year, and I wish I could say that I had more learnings than losses; the truth is that at some point in time, no matter how optimistic you would like to be and how positive you want to be, there is not much you can do. You need to realize that the best course of action is to ACCEPT what is, LET GO of what was, and HAVE FAITH in what will be. Still, the step before that is to Pause and Reflect, and in this last Monday Tip of the year 2022, I would like to share my top 3 reflections.

 1) Realize who is the only one who can help you when you are powerless

We all will be in a situation where we will become powerless; it may be a situation in your 30s or your 70s, and it could be in the physical sense or the metaphorical sense; there will come a time when you will not be able to do anything to help yourself, and during that time, there will be just ONE person who can have the most credit and influence to get you out or get you through your situation. That one person is the Younger version of You.

 I have come to this realization from observing my own life and the lives of my friends, family, and others. To explain this, from an early age, you are the one responsible for building and keeping relationships with others; you will have control over how you treat your direct family, partner, and friends and the impact you can make on your community, whether you are a big spender or a conservative saver, lead a healthy life or not, whether you lived life to the max or just didn’t. Everything you made a priority will come back to pay you back—the Good and Bad.

When you become powerless, who will be there? Will your friends come to support you? Will your children invest their time in taking care of you? When things are bad, will your partner stick around? And the list goes on and on… Think about this for a second…

So, remember that when this day comes (and trust me, it will!), the younger version of you, and the sum of all your decisions and priorities and how you invested your time when you were younger will come to pay the dividends, so help the future you and start cleaning up your life and move to live a life with no regrets DAILY!

 “Live Everyday with no regrets, so you don’t regret it one day.” ~Samer Chidiac

2) People are not good because you are good to them; they are just good.

Another realization and reflection I had this year was regarding loved ones and those whom we consider “close.”

I’ve heard many versions of this sentence over the years, “in bad times, you know who your true friends are,” because during the good times, anyone can be your friend, but during bad times you will see who will stick around and who will show you their real face.

I recall conversations I had with my mother and sister when my father was on his death-bed; they were sharing their disappointment from how some of our relatives and close friends never showed up or offered support, despite all the good deeds we’ve done for them throughout the years, and in contrast, some went above and beyond despite that we have relatively didn’t do anything in comparison.

A great conclusion we collectively had, was that GOOD people are not good because of how you treated them in the past; they are just GOOD by nature, and some people are just not, no matter how much good you have done for them.

3) Some of your most significant relationships are not meant to last

I have been through so many cycles in my life and can’t stress how they were equally filled with the highs and the lows, but I guess the most significant can always be traced back to relationships, whether a romantic partner or a business partner, a friend or a boss… Some enter our life and become the catalyst for it to change course, and then they leave.

One of the best quotes I’ve heard about this was, “Some you meet for a REASON and some you meet for a SEASON,” and a great explanation I’ve heard this year was to compare some people to rocket boosters; when a rocket is launched, it will need a booster that will augment the rocket capacity and is essential for it actually to push the rocket outside the orbit of the earth, and then it is dropped back to earth; the booster is NOT INTENETED to continue the journey of the rocket.  The same thing comes with some people in our life; no matter how important they were in our lives, they just came in it to give us the necessary boost, and when their role is done, we need to let them go and continue our journey.

One of my realizations this year around this topic was very much related to the booster example, as, in general, we tend to visualize “what is holding us back” as a ROCK, and we are tied to it; therefore, we need to let go. But this rocket analogy has changed my whole perspective; I now have a deep appreciation for some relationships and people that had to play an essential role in navigating my life toward a better future.

So whether it lasted a day or a decade, be grateful that it happened and that it was a reason for you to move forward.

As I conclude this end-of-year Monday tip, I would like to thank you for reading and supporting my newsletter and being part of making me a better person and would like to remind you that the final tip for this year is:

ACCEPT what is, LET GO of what was, and HAVE FAITH in what will be

Have a wonderful year ahead!

Samer Chidiac

Put Your Oxygen Mask on First, Before Assisting Others.

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For many of us who have taken many flights, these words sound very familiar, but for those who haven’t been on a plane before, it’s worth illustrating it a bit,

Before the plane takes off, the flight attendants will start demonstrating the safety procedures, which include how to fasten and unfasten seatbelts, etc., and one sentence, in particular, goes something like this:

“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will automatically descend from the ceiling. Grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have childs travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.”

Hearing this sentence so many times, some might find it counter-intuitive, especially parents and practically anyone who is traveling with a loved one (s); why should you – in this critical time – attend to yourself first?

A while back, I asked a friend of mine, Talal Harb, who worked at the time as a Cabin-crew professional trainer for Emirates Airlines, about the reason. He mentioned that when the oxygen levels drop, you will likely lose consciousness momentarily until you have the oxygen mask on, which is more reasonably acceptable for a kid for a short timeframe than it is for an Adult.

If you want to go further about understanding what happens, it’s worth checking the experiment done by Destin Sandlin, who entered a special chamber with an astronaut to find out what happens if you don’t put on your mask. After a few minutes, Sandlin starts to lose brain function and cannot identify basic shapes. Soon, he can’t even speak or put his mask on, and someone must step in and put it on for him to prevent him from dying. And what was most interesting/shocking is that he returned so quickly. He went from half brain-dead and inches away from literally dead back to normal in seconds.

Now, what does this teaches us?

In our modern world, it has been thought that if you think of yourself first, you are considered “Selfish,” and that’s an inadequate adjective to be called by. And therefore, a lot of us fall into the trap of putting ourselves LAST many times while trying to be there for everyone else as an act of being unselfish, caring, and kind, and keep doing so until we run out of oxygen.

“If you want to have enough to give to others, you will need to take care of yourself first. A tree that refuses water and sunlight for itself can’t bear fruit for others.” ~ Emily Maroutian

In this week’s Monday Tip, I want you first to take a step back and think about the following for a few minutes,

“Are you going to be able to help your loved ones if you are not physically or mentally capable of doing so? Will you be able to help others make the right decisions while you yourself are under a lot of stress and pressure, will you actually help them, or are you risking giving them the wrong advice?”

So here’s my advice to you, take care of yourself FOR THEM, become the best of what you can be so you can be the best for them; in many situations, your loved ones will need a STRONG person next to them in their difficult times, and by that time you need to be that person; so take care of yourself first, and always put your own hypothetical mask on first before helping others because, by the time you’ve helped everyone else, you may not know how to help yourself.

Enjoy your week,

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3 Life lessons I learned from my Father

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On September 27th, 2022, my father, Mokhtar Chidiac, passed away after battling cancer for 15 months. Only a few months ago, I had a rare opportunity to spend time with him with my camera just before his health started to deteriorate and had him tell me his life story and the moments that shaped his life. It was a very intense emotional time for me at that period while filming and listening to his stories and seeing him laugh and pause as he recalls and reflected.

I have picked the below three lessons that I will cherish for the rest of my life, and I have decided to dedicate this Monday Tip in his loving memory.

1) Never give up on your dreams

My father was very active in the community and was one of the Leaders of an NGO in Lebanon called “Offer Joie” since the early 90s; in the year 2000, while he was leading one of the youth boot camps in a Lebanese Town called KFIFANE, he noticed that there was an old Mosque, a barely 1 room small space, that one of the locals was gathering donations to help maintain and refurbish.

Since that day, it has become a dream and life mission for my father to assist in rebuilding the Mosque of Kfifane, and through thick and thin and over the course of 20 years, he managed with the support and love of so many others, to re-build the 1 room mosque to become a fully functioning fantastic facility.

When I asked him at some point why he was making all that efforts to make a big mosque, while there were relatively very few who would use it given its remote location, he told me that he had a feeling that this would change… and Indeed, after the war started in Syria, there has been a significant number of refugees that came to Lebanon and spread around the different areas of Lebanon; and the mosque was filled with dozens and even a hundred of worshipers every Friday; which was an unexpected turn of events for those who watched the growth of the mosque.

This mosque was his life dream. His wish was to be buried there, and on Wednesday 28th of September, he said goodbye to the structure he always dreamed of making, and we prayed to the rest of his soul in the mosque and buried him in its graveyard, in a space that he chose and marked ten years ago.

He saw his dream come true, which was the perfect ending to his story;

Lesson Learned: Never give up on your dreams  

2) Keep Fighting for what you believe you deserve

In the late 1960s, my father went to Libya for work and was among a team contracted by the government to work on road & urban planning. And while in Libya, in 1969, there was a “Coup d’état,” and the government of Idris got ousted by Gaddafi’s troops, and a new era started for that country.

Among so many things back then, one thing that was very impactful for my father was that the new government decided not to honor the reimbursement of costs of living that was agreed on by the previous management. And, of course, it caused financial liabilities to him, so he decided to complain and sue the “revolution” for what they owed him.

It was a shot in the dark and a hopeless case. Still, my father kept going every week to the office of complaints and the courts, and after more than a year, he got surprised that they approved his request and paid him for the past period. He recalls that his manager (a Libyan) told him in a surprising note that you are the FIRST person who could pull something like that and win a case against the “Revolution.”

Lesson learned: Never give up on what you believe you deserve.

3) Be Optimistic & Always believe that things will get better

Even on his death bed, his words were always including, “when I will get better, we will _____ ”; I could recall so many instances where life brought me down to the ground and hit me very hard, but every time I talked to my father, he used to comfort me and tell me to be optimistic, that things will get better, no matter what.

He said that as long as you are kind to others (regardless if they deserve it or not), love your family, do the best you can, and work to become the best version of yourself, things will always get better.

His life included going through wars, extreme uncertainty, loss, and health issues. But he was always an Optimist; he never gave in to the current situation and had the spirit of a fighter. 

Lesson learned: Things will always get better, keep the faith!

He was a loving father and husband and will be remembered by so many whose lives were touched and influenced by him. May your soul rest in peace, dad. I love you.

Thank you for reading & have a great week,

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Keep trying… Some goals are so worthy that it’s glorious even to fail.

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In the summer of 2009 and before the release of the blockbuster science fiction movie AVATAR, I had the pleasure of meeting the co-producer Jon Landau while he was speaking at one of our company’s annual meetings at Microsoft; at that time, we were all waiting to hear about how Microsoft’s KINECT technology was used in the making of the movie; Kinect was not yet due to hit the market, so we knew very little about it, and same goes for the movie, but the theme that was emerging was about taking risks and making big bets to pursue some great and worthy goals.

In 12 years, Avatar reached heights that very few films managed to reach and has become one of the highest-grossing movies of all time, with a cumulative gross of $2.847 billion and almost single-handedly raised awareness of Theather IMAX and 3D viewing.

“Some goals are so worthy, it’s glorious even to fail” ― Captain Manoj Kumar Pandey

But even before that, in 1997, James Cameron & Jon Landau brought to us an epic masterpiece, the Movie TITANIC;

So during the 2009 Microsoft meeting, when Jon was asked about the biggest learning he had from Producing Titanic, his answer carried one of the most powerful statements I have been inspired by since that day.

“We didn’t know if we could do it… But we knew if we didn’t try, there wouldn’t be a Titanic Movie.”

At several moments in our life, we feel overwhelmed by goals that seem more significant than our ambitions and would force us to go someplace we’ve never been before and become a stronger version of ourselves. Still, the stakes are very high, and the risk is too big… What if we fail?

I heard the statement that some goals are so worthy it’s glorious even to fail when I was still in University, and I have carried it in my heart ever since; I made a goal to become a CEO at 30 years old and work in a Multi-national Company at 35. I became General Manager at 25, and then at 28, I worked for Microsoft…

This week’s tip is not to be discouraged while trying to realize your goal; no matter how difficult the road may seem or how crazy it may sound, just KEEP TRYING…

And remember Steve Job’s Sentence:

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”

Have a wonderful week,

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To help deal with Anxiety, Shorten your timeframes

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Most of us, at some point in time, will experience anxiety, a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. You may be in a situation where you have a fear of the unknown; it could be the result of a recent job loss, a loved one being sick, a personal relationship that is heading toward a cliff, or any reason BIG or Small. Well, no matter where it comes from, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

I was recently in the Emergency Room at a Hospital, and I saw a poster on the wall that describes the Levels of PAIN; while I traditionally think of Pain as being Binary (You have it or you don’t), it turned out that it’s measured on a scale from 0 to 10, with 0 = No Pain to 10 = Worst Possible Pain.

Let me put my Psychologist Hat for a second and tell you that Pain has two components: a sensory component (physical) and an emotional or affective component (psychological). The former informs your body where the pain is coming from, while the latter causes psychological distress after an experience of pain. 

While physical pain is relatively easier to deal with, emotional pain is trickier. Sometimes you feel hurt by something very direct, like someone’s words describing you, rejection, or a much deeper situation like the general feeling of being unappreciated at work or in a relationship.

Anxiety takes this concept of emotional pain to a whole new level. While I cannot describe what a person can be experiencing during that period, I can tell you from experience that while you cannot take that pain away, you CAN lighten it up just a little bit.

“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” —Charles Spurgeon

I was unfortunate to be in a situation to deal with more than one loved one battling cancer (at the same time). Despite whatever pain they were going through, I felt helpless, and believe me, I would’ve done anything to make their pain go away. Still, in reality, I could only do what everyone does, Pray, and hope that things would just work out. While I was crying my heart out being alone, I needed to be strong while I was present with them and do what I do best, talk to them in the hope that my words could bring a little motivation to their helpless situation.

It is very difficult to lift the morale of someone fighting cancer and dealing with extreme Anxiety about their life, so my words to them included the following:

“I want you to do two things:

1) I want you to remove Death from the equation as we are all going to die regardless of having cancer or not,

2) I want you to only think about the next step you will do; if your chemotherapy is coming up next month, then when the time comes, you go and go through it, and until then, you don’t think about it and you don’t start thinking about the next step except after you have done it. and will repeat the exercise by only thinking about the next step.”

This week’s tip is about Shortening your Timeframes, it was very well described in Jordan B. Peterson‘s book 12 Rules for Life (Book on Amazon can be found here, and a very well-written summary/extract can be found here)

In his book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle describes how our Brains can play tricks on us and how overthinking can lead us to places we don’t want to be in; so, in short, the more you keep thinking and overthinking, the more you end up with more Anxiety and the more you will be experiencing emotional pain that would keep growing to reach high on the scale of pain.

What has helped me and many others while they are going through Dark Times is this Week’s Tip: While being in a state of Anxiety, Shorten your Time Frame, stop thinking one year ahead or one month ahead, and shorten it down to 1 week, to 1 day, to even 1 hour.

Although it might not get you completely over your anxiety, it would help reduce the emotional pain you are going through, and reducing that pain, is a good thing to have!

You can view the full extract from Jordan Peterson’s session below or via this link

Enjoy your week,

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Write off the Emotional Bad Debt

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I would like you to imagine this situation with me for a second; You’re wearing a suit (dress, skirt…) and you notice that one of the Buttons is loose and is hanging on a thread and it could fall anytime. Of course, the first thing that goes into anyone’s mind is to FIX the situation, but what happens when it’s not possible (at that particular time/location)? what most people would do, is to be very careful with the button until they are in a situation to fix it.

The loose button situation may have happened to you multiple times already, and you can recall how it made you feel (Anxious? insecure? Slightly worried?); I spoke with a Tailor a few years back, and he gave a tip at that time, to simply pull it off yourself and keep it in your pocket until you can fix it. This will reduce/eliminate your anxiety about the possibility of losing the button and you can focus on other important things.

Of course, the example of the loose button is a metaphor for so many things that are hanging on a thread in our life, a former relationship, an old item, a particular “situation” at work or family, and so on. Where we know that the future of that “Loose Button” is more certain to everyone else, but for us, we keep holding to that thin thread, hoping that things can change.

If you have had the chance to watch the Movie Hitch you can recall the conversation between Albert (played by Kevin James) and Hitch (played by Will Smith) after Losing Allegra Cole (played by Amber Valletta):

“- Albert: You know, honestly, I never knew I could feel like this. You know? I swear I’m going out of my mind. It’s like I want to throw myself off of every building in New York. I see a cab and I just wanna dive in front of it because then I’ll stop thinking about her.

– Hitch: Look, you will. Just give it time.

– Albert: That’s just it. I don’t want to. I mean, I’ve waited my whole life to feel this miserable. I mean, and if this is the only way I can stay connected with her, then… well, this is who I have to be.”

The last part Albert said, is so powerful that it can literally describe millions of people who have loved and lost, and they keep holding on to the memories and the fact that they are feeling Miserable is just a way to keep the connection going, and where the ratio of HOW MISERABLE YOU ARE is directly linked to HOW MUCH THAT PERSON MEANT TO YOU.

So that was an example of the Loose Button, that produces a great invisible impact on your life that would eventually produce an EMOTIONAL BAD DEBT.

This week’s Tip is on how to deal with this Emotional Bad Debt, WRITE-IT-OFF!

In business accounting, the term write-off is used to refer to an investment (such as a purchase of sellable goods) for which a return on the investment is now impossible or unlikely. The item’s potential return is thus canceled and removed from (“written off”) the business’s balance sheet. Common write-offs in retail include spoiled and damaged goods. In commercial or industrial settings, a productive asset may be subject to write-off if it suffers failure or accident damage that is infeasible to repair, leaving the asset unusable for its intended purpose.

Use the same tactic that I learned from that Tailor, don’t leave the loose button hanging there, cut it yourself and keep it in your pocket; this way you removed that weird and awkward connection between you and that item, and reduced the impact and “domination” it had over you, and instead, once it’s no longer connected to you, you will make the right decision how to deal with that situation.

Have a wonderful week,

SC

Become Friends with your Fear

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This week’s tip is an extract from my Commencement Speech for the Class of 2020, you can read/listen to the full speech 👉 The Last Day of the Present.

“Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will. Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” ~Suzy Kassem

Around 10 years ago (8 years at the time of the speech), I was having a chat with my sister, she was participating in a competition, and only days before her final presentation, she was considering giving up, she was afraid, and her way to represent her Fear was by considering it like a BRICK (Blata in Arabic) so a Brick on her chest that was not allowing her to move forward, so I asked her: how many times do I fly per month? She said: I don’t know, maybe 4-6 times. And I continued: And how long have I been in this lifestyle, she replied: like 6 years already. And Here I told her, do you know that despite the 100s of flights that I took, I have a Flying Phobia… Yes, I, Samer Chidiac, have an Avio Phobia, the Fear of Flying… every time, and when the days get closer to my flying time, I used to get so tense that when I woke up before my flight, my heart would be beating fast and I used to hold my knees together close to my chest and move back and forth, until I calm down and get wear my suit, take my back and just go…

Make no mistake, I wasn’t afraid of the Plane crashing, but in fact, I was afraid of what the entire meaning of the flight was for me; just like those who fear public speaking, they aren’t really afraid of someone from the audience coming up and hurting them, but it is what public speaking carried for the person, and for me, Flying was boarding on a Journey to the Unknown…

And tonight [originally to the class of 2020] is the beginning of your special journey to a whole new world, and I know that some of you… are afraid.

So, my secret is not actually that I had the Fear of Flying but it’s How I dealt with it, I not only made peace with my fear, in fact, I became friends with my fear, and friends don’t hurt each other, they can be annoying sometimes, but a true friend wouldn’t hurt you.

It’s ok to be afraid sometimes, sometimes fear can push you to do things you wouldn’t have done if you were not afraid; Just remember that Fear may slow you down, but it won’t hurt you.

Become friends with your Fear.

Have a wonderful week!

SC

A simple lesson from Mothers on Perseverance

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The other day, I was having a chat with a friend of mine who has become a mother just a few years back, and as we talked about Life and challenges in general, she shared with me some great advice that was so simple, and yet very powerful, about facing challenges in life.

“Men are what their mothers made them.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

She said to me, that before she became a mother, she would quit more often when challenges are high, and she would give up more easily when things get tough; but since she had her first child, everything changed, her sense of responsibility got multiplied by 10 if not more and her commitment flew over the top, and the depth of what her heart can love reached infinity.

No matter how old a mother is, and how little or grown-up her child is, 4 or 40, one thing she can teach us, that no Motivational speaker can ever illustrate better:

She simply won’t give up!

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If you ask a Mother when how long she would keep trying before her child can walk, she would reply that “I will keep trying UNTIL he/she would walk”. A Child will fall many times before they could walk, and the parents know that fact, so those “failures” won’t discourage their perseverance.

And that was her magical word; she would keep trying UNTIL _____

This week’s Tip is about Perseverance like a Mother would!

Whenever you are feeling down, or a little low, and reaching the stage of giving up, just remember the power that your Mother has given you, and that is the DNA engraved Perseverance, there ain’t no mountain high for her, and she would leave no stone unturned for you; by her hands, by her heart, or by her prayers… She would keep being there for you UNTIL you make it.

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” ~Thomas Edison

So Never give up, and keep trying UNTIL you Make it…

Keep looking for a job, UNTIL you find one.

Keep studying UNTIL you graduate.

Keep Fighting UNTIL you conquer sickness.

Keep trying UNTIL you succeed.

It’s just as simple as that.

Have a wonderful week,

SC

Choose your better end of the story

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A dear friend of mine once told me his story; He was engaged in a very serious relationship with somebody, for several years they were together. And then, one day, out of the blue, their relationship ended; his fiancé messaged and told him that they cannot stay together anymore because of multiple issues and reasons. Her reasons to breakup were valid, but the way to end a relationship that was serious simply over a text message left more questions than answers.

At that night, each one of them was in a different country; obviously my friend got very depressed. And what made things even worse is that later on, and after a couple of days, he realized that his (now) ex-fiancé started going out with someone else in that country that she was visiting.

His mind got blown away, because he immediately started thinking about that news, that she may have been in that relationship while they were still together. After several months from that story, they talked to that and she told/assured him that the person she is currently dating was already friend at that time, and everything happened. immediately after they broke up. So, they didn’t go out, or were in a relationship at the time when she and my friend were together.

For the life of him, he didn’t know the real story, he has only speculation and assumptions. He wouldn’t know if that was the truth she told him, or it was something else. This experience destroyed my friend for a period of time; From one angle, he lost the love of his life and from another he felt betrayed and that his life was fake for a while.

When we were talking together after that incident, I told him the following:

“If by any chance, either versions of the stories:

  1. That your fiancé was dedicated to you, and she met the person after you two broke up. Or,
  2. your fiancé was cheating on you while you were together, and she ended the relationship to be with the other person.

And both versions lead to the same conclusion:

You are not together anymore.

She is the other person.

You’re devastated.

She is happy and either versions won’t change this fact.

So why don’t you pick the version that suits you better and be confident that this is what happened: She was in a dedicated relationship with you, things didn’t work out and each went in separate ways and she met someone else afterwards, and you have good memories to cherish and it’s time for you to move on…

End of the story.”

The only difference between those two versions of the story is that when we know the history of a specific fact, it changes the way we act upon it, it changes the way we react and we continue to; it changes EVERYTHING!

There are many stories that you can look up on the internet and hear about a similar incident that my friend had; most of relationships that ends have this mystery layer right on top of the most and you cannot have a complete visibility inside the mind of your partner because simply you cannot control every single aspect of most of your life and certainly not the life of another person; so the breakup reasons could build over years or it could happen suddenly… No one really knows.

But some sometimes you can choose to ignore the signals that is happening in your relationships, the signals that may lead to betrayal, adultery, or just pain and sorrow. Once you realize that you were ignoring the signals, eventually you’ll understand that you could have ended that relationship before things became more complicated.

Our tip for this week is learning from the experience of my friend and is about choosing the best way based on your own benefits.  

When both stories, both hypotheses lead to the same conclusion then choose the one that is better suited for you and not the opposite.

Not every breakup have the luxury of having an appropriate “closure” and mot leave more questions than answers and more often 2 versions of the same story told by both parties.

So, in our life, when we are faced with these types of situations where mystery hovers on top. We can always look at it from the aspect of what’s best for me?  

Which version of the story is best for me? Should I keep the other dramatic version and suffer for knowing such details, or tune in for the better version, knowing that in either case the ending in the same?

I would choose the better version for me!

Have a wonderful week,

SC

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Never lose track of yourself

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One day you wake up, and look at the mirror and see a person you don’t know, a person that looks a lot like you, has your features, but strangely you don’t recognize that person. Because deep inside of yourself, you realize that this is not YOU… and if it was indeed you, you fail to acknowledge how did you end up here. When did you lose track?

I was having a coaching session with a fantastic individual recently, and she was describing how her life lead her to a crossroads, where either direction would lead to a path that she doesn’t fantasy; she stopped at that particular point and is thinking hard on that potential destination, and that difficult decision that would lead her nowhere. The most interesting part about that conversation is that she has been at that point in her life, by the time of our session for more than four years.   

You would be surprised to know that Ms. X was not the only individual facing such a situation and that our session brought several flashbacks from others who were at her exact place without notice, whether in a work/professional or personal context; You may call it “Stuck” or a “Dead end” or whatever synonym  that would resonate more to you, what I would like to share with you in this article, is my point of view on this.

What I told Ms. X, after a long and warm talk that transported her to a time where she felt the complete opposite and where destinations were clearer, and decisions were more natural:   

“You Have lost track but not of where you are going, but instead, you have lost track of yourself. You lost yourself somewhere, at some point in time. Now you are allowing someone else to take over your decisions, a different person that looks like you, sounds like you, but deep inside, that isn’t YOU.”

I wish I can tell you that there is an easy solution for anyone in this situation; there isn’t. But there is a clear answer to that question, and the answer is always YOU.

At some point in our life, the sum of all of our experiences shapes who we are and who we have become; in one of my research, I emphasized on the different points that shape our individualities which I call them S.P.I.C.E.D that stands for S: Story, P: Personality, I: Interests, C: Culture, E: Education and D for Diversity; so when you look at all of these elements combined, you would feel there is someone underneath all of that… and simply, that Someone is YOU!

If you have limited battery life on your phone and you are let’s say traveling with no access to a near charger for at least 3 hours, your decisions on how you would use your phone will become more strategic; Pretty much when you realize the value of your time, your actions and decisions will start making more sense, and you won’t be able to understand and appreciate the value of your time if you can’t value your Self.

Our Tip for this week is never losing track of who you are because when you do, an alternative ego or a ghost-version of you will take over and will start taking control of everything.

And just like the Phone Battery, realize that you have a finite time and energy, so make sure you appreciate that as a gift.

Have a wonderful week,

SC

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.

Get rid of the things holding you down!

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Have you ever woke up one day with that strange feeling that you don’t want to get out of bed? That going to work feels like going to a slaughter house and you’re the cow? have you ever felt that even on your vacation days, you don’t feel like having fun? How many times have this occurred to you? if more than once in the past month… Then you must be Burned Out!

In so many occasions, we don’t feel the weight that we are carrying, because it’s been there too long that we no longer feel that it’s a parasite that is feeding on us, but more regular and natural that we don’t notice it anymore.

You can’t fix something that you don’t know about, and you can’t solve a problem when you can’t acknowledge that there is one in the first place. In one of my talks, I specified problems in 2 categories:

  • Real Problems: which are related to the health & well-being of your self and your loved ones.
  • The Other Types of Problems: Everything else…

However once you go beyond the above 2 categories, most people actually have dozens and even tons of problems that they categorize into so many sub ones… from financials, to social to personal and the list goes on.

While you are reading this, I will ask you a question, and I would like you to think about it very thoroughly for few minutes:

Think of the biggest heavy issue that you are having right now That is – and I insist – not related to the health and well being of your self and your loved ones… Think Loudly in your mind, describe it and scream at it if you should...

Now, since this problem is pissing you off, and making you sleepless at night… What would it take you to to solve it? a Miracle?

Put a small Pause on that thought and keep reading.

I once asked a group of individuals in a workshop I was conducting few years back, about some of the toughest problems they are facing in their lives/work etc… and then stimulated their minds by the following statements:

  • If you had 100$ would that help you to solve your issue?
  • If you had 10,000$ would that help you to solve your issue?
  • If you had 1,000,000$ would that help you to solve your issue?
  • If you have 150,000,000$ would that help you to solve your issue?

I guess you are seeing where I am going there. And the answers varied from “Probably” to “Hell YEAH”!!

So, that extremely difficult problem, started becoming easier and easier, when you started seeing possibilities to solving it.

Which lead me to this week’s Tip: Get Rid of the things holding you down!

In a lot of times, we get burned out, because of the weight of the problems and issues that we have, and mostly because of the “in-existing” solutions based on our current reality.

We can’t solve any issue by just complaining about it, and we REALLY can’t solve any issue when we are carrying the load of all of our life and making it the central component that will make us happy and fulfilled.

If you look back at the problem that you thought of in the beginning of this article, and tried to visualize the indirect things that are holding you down, and put them aside for a moment, and just write down your issue and what type of a “Miracle” you need to solve it, and use the exact line of thoughts, like money, support from others, etc… And then go back and try to split them into micro-steps… Just like brushing your teeth, it’s just a task that you do, but when you think about it as solving an greater issue of your health and life instead, you would take more easy.

Whatever type of your problems and issues that you are having now (that is not health and well-being related), try to approach it differently and isolate it from being the central part of your life, and then take micro-steps towards it, and with time, it will stop being that monstrances.

And the Heavy weight, holding you back, that you have in your life, is very similar to the photo I chose for this article, Think of yourself holding that much weight, and you need to even brush your teeth… it’s an Incredibly Complicated task isn’t it?

Have a wonderful week,
SC

Samer Chidiac is a Strategic Innovation Advisor, a Business Psychologist, a Philanthropist, an Author and a Speaker. 

You can check his Books on Amazon & Sellfy, Follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and check his Website for More.